eHarmony Blog.comIn Part I of this series, I discussed the origin of the principle of being “Cocky and funny” in order to attract women.
And in Part II, I discussed why being “Cocky and funny” can be so difficult online.
So, if you’re not ready to go to blind trial and error to find what levels of cockiness and humor work in online profiles, is there an alternative?
I believe so. And I think that it’s a process that’s a step beyond David DeAngelo’s “Cocky/Funny” observation.
In part one, we discussed the history, and the benefits, of the “Cocky/Funny” concept – an approach devised by pickup artists in order to appeal to women.
And one has to remember – most pickup artist technique was developed in bars and nightclubs. After all, it’s a place where you can find a lot of attractive women and try different things out.
However, online, a lot of people found inconsistent results when they tried to be cocky and funny.
For one, the nightclub is a world away from the internet in general, and even further away from eHarmony.
Lately, the eHarmony Cracked Google Group has been abuzz with one of the most controversial profile reviews yet. One that has a lot of people shouting about how truly inappropriate it is – despite the fact that he says that it had been “moderately” successful.
In response to the (often pointed) criticism he received, he said that he was trying to be “cocky and funny”, as endorsed by many pick-up artist communities. He pointed out that a lot of women appreciated his sense of humor. And a lot of women also insta-closed him. He was wondering what was working, and what wasn’t.
So, why does someone want to be “cocky and funny” in the first place?
Read on, my friends…
Hope you didn't take my comments the wrong way. I think there is _some_ value to a shy male who has little experience with women thinking about being funny and a little edgy. I think I've gotten more "relaxed" in person as you say, so we are sort of agreeing. :) I'm just not sure how well it w …
(Disclaimer: Scott Grey is the founder of a blog and forum offering tips to people who are using eHarmony. These ventures earn less than $100 per year. In order to stop the flood of emails requesting personal help, he does offer personal eHarmony advice services – but charges extraordinary fees, primarily to get these folks off of his back. Because of his exorbitant fees, he almost never has customers, and he’s happy about that.)
For a long time, I’ve observed the evolution of eHarmony’s marketing approach.
At one time, eHarmony advertised that, because of their relationship questionnaire, it’s unnecessary to agnoize over what to say in a profile. And my forum was one of the few places that people could turn to for realistic help.
Not only have I never hired an igloo decorator, I've never: - Successfully decorated an igloo, after multiple failed attempts. - Studied multiple failed igloo decoration attempts. - Helped anyone else, successfully, decorate an igloo. - Written a blog, reaching 2000-3000 unique readers monthly …
As I mentioned in yesterday’s article… the process of getting to know someone online should be fun.
However, as it stands, eHarmony’s guided communication process… isn’t.
Here’s how I’d go about changing it.
In my original blog, I’ve written a lot of advice on how guys can get better results from eHarmony.
And, although I’ve often been critical of some of their services, I’ve been pretty restrained in my criticism of the eHarmony system itself.
After all, my goal was to help guys do better on eHarmony. And telling folks that “Your failure is all eHarmony’s fault” would prevent many guys from making changes that could lead to their happiness with the eHarmony service.
But, yes, I have one major criticism.
I like the guided communication and wish all dating sites did this. I hate spending countless hours writing emails just to not have the girls respond because they aren't interested. With the guided communication, it takes about 30 seconds to send the multiple choice questions. If the girl doesn't …
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I think it's important to balance the cocky with the funny. I've seen a lot of guys who try out C&F in the real world and they come off as complete jerks (too much cocky and not enough funny). I've seen other guys who comes of as dancing monkey's (too much funny and not enough cocky). That's …
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