eHarmony Blog.com

eHarmony has never changed their rejection message since they began the site, which will be eight years ago in less than two weeks.

Unable to match you at this time

eHarmony is based upon a complex matching system developed through extensive research with married couples. One of the requirements for successful matching is that participants fall within certain defined profiles. If we find that we will not be able to match a user using these profiles, we feel it is only fair to inform them early in the process.

We are so convinced of the importance of creating compatible matches to help people establish happy, lasting relationships that we sometimes choose not to provide service rather than risk an uncertain match.

Unfortunately, we are not able to make our profiles work for you. Our matching model could not accurately predict with whom you would be best matched. This occurs for about 20% of potential users, so 1 in 5 people simply will not benefit from our service. We hope that you understand, and we regret our inability to provide service for you at this time.

Let me count the many things that are wrong with it (and I’ve read enough “I’m rejected” blog posts to know what I’m talking about):

Bit by bit

• “One of the requirements for successful matching is that participants fall within certain defined profiles.” — What ARE these defined profiles? Those who were promised to be able to “Review your matches for free” and who heard “Aren’t you curious whom you’ll be matched with?” deserve to know.
• “… inform them early in the process …” — If the guy is married, separated or below 20 years old, he would have said so on the first page of the questionnaire. “Inform them early in the process” means tell him at that point already.
• “Unfortunately, we are not able to make our profiles work for you.” — “You’re doomed for a lifetime” is the message.
• “… accurately predict …” — oversell, much?
• “This occurs for about 20% of potential users, so 1 in 5 people simply will not benefit from our service. “ — This is an 8-year-old statistic, for heaven’s sake. Update it.

  Oh wait. Perhaps the system IS designed to boot the bottom 20% percentile. In this case, the message should be honest and say, “We apply this to 20% of potential users, and we chose that 1 in 5 will not benefit from the service.”

What people are saying

Our “Why eHarmony Rejected You” page, one of the most consistently popular pages in the site, gathered comments like these in the last two years:

1. Depression is “a medical problem, not a character flaw dooming its sufferer to lifelong loneliness.”
2. “There isn’t ONE single match for me?”
3. “There’s NO need to rub salt in the wound with a ‘well, telling the truth doesn’t necessarily get you dates’”
4. “… really, I don’t find it rude at all. In fact they apologize because THEY can’t make their service work for you.”
5. “I think you should be told up front that there is an X% chance that you will be rejected.”
6. “It’s not like they save the thing and you can try again.”
7. “I wonder if jesus would weed out the sad people.”
8. “The thing that bothers me the most about the rejection is just how final it is.”
9. “There’s no second chances, unless you go back with a completely different email and change all your answers.”

Isn’t it time that eHarmony improve the rejection message?