A checklist for your last day on eHarmony…

So, you’ve been on eHarmony for a while. You haven’t found the one (or anyone?) and don’t want to renew, either to take a break from the hustle and bustle of sending communications or to try another service or have decided to try something else to find someone.

Well, don’t give up yet (on eHarmony or on your search)!

I find myself in this very situation, so here are some suggestions of how to get your money’s worth, even when you aren’t going to get any more service from eHarmony!

Here’s the outline of the check list of items that you should address:

Billing
Communications
Your profile/matching
Pictures
Resubscribing

Billing

The day BEFORE your subscription expires is when they will attempt to bill your credit card, so take care of this well in advance (change the number in your account settings). You will still have access the day your membership expires when they fail to charge your credit card (you’ll get an e-mail indicating this).

Communications

Send FastTrack requests to those matches you have gotten past Stage 1 with and include your e-mail address in the request. Offer to continue the guided communication via e-mail by sending MH/CS and 2nd questions, to keep the ball rolling. If it takes them a while to get around to you, they will eventually get your message and you can continue communicating. Who in their right mind wouldn’t accept a FastTrack or would be “offended” after going a round or two of guided communication because your membership elapsed?

Send your e-mail address to matches you are in OC with but haven’t transitioned to e-mail. This can serve as a gentle but truthful nudge to move things along.

Close matches you aren’t interested in pursuing (that’s a lot of work for me, counting all the ones since February that haven’t responded).

Your profile/matching

At the risk of being censored or edited you might consider updating your “About Me” additional information to indicate that your subscription expired, the date of expiration and that you are taking a break and will consider renewing at a later date / communicate at the next FCW or some similar message.

This next topic is a somewhat controversial one to make a decision about:

Whether or not to turn off matching…

Is there a point in getting matches if you can’t communicate with them if you aren’t interested in renewing? You might find someone if you keep getting matches but if you have a few cooking, maybe it is time to let those simmer some more and take a break from the excitement of “fresh fish”. I suppose if you want to keep checking and close the ones you aren’t interested in you might be able to use icebreakers to feel out for ones that you are REALLY interested in and would consider subscribing again for (ahem, well, that would imply that icebreakers actually work).

For some folks, not having pictures in the decision making process can make this a bit of a catch-22. Maybe your decision-making will be clearer without pictures and easier to close out folks that you don’t feel compatible with based on their profiles alone? Maybe it’s the other way around…you need those pictures to make that decision and without them, you would rather not have a decision to make (and thus, turn off matching).

Pictures

Speaking of pictures, you might consider saving pictures of matches that you are hoping to continue communicating with to your computer so you know who you are talking to while e-mailing since the pictures go away when you aren’t a subscriber (something that you may tend to forget, especially if you have been a subscriber for several months).

Resubscribing

While you are taking a break and if you find your “offline matches” aren’t working out, it is best to wait for a good subscription deal to come your way and don’t feel pressured to renew at the “regular” rate. You’ll may even get that e-mail offer before you feel like renewing!

In closing…

If I’ve forgotten something, please comment and we’ll edit this post so it is a keeper that everyone will know, read and be empowered to retain every last nickel, dime and match out of eHarmony after all the money (which is all they care about, according to them, right?) you have given them.

Signed,

SingleGuyInNC, former eHarmony subscriber…for now…

Comments 23

Comments: 1 2

Uncle Fester wrote:
“they probably think you are the kind of person who …”

And I think you are the kind of person who always has to get the last word, and makes mountains out of molehills.

Are the hundreds of “dead” profiles I was matched with, that didn’t bother to change their profile to clearly and politely indicate their eH status, also “inconsiderate”? Sheesh.

Clearly (or, at least, hopefully), if one turns matching off, then they won’t be matched. But what if (like the overwhelming majority) they don’t? How many of your new matches are active vs. inactive? Look, if you don’t care then please stop responding. Otherwise, the data I’ve gathered is the only public example that I know of. Take it or leave it.
Posted 21 Jun 2008 at 5:14 pm ¶
Shar wrote:
What you think of me matters not, and is completely beside the point. Your argument is fallacious.

“How many of your new matches are active vs. inactive?”

I used to close my new matches out if they had not contacted me within one week of matching. For the summer, I decided to extend that to two weeks because of the possibility of matches being on vacation and so forth. I instantly close out anyone who does not have a photo available from the get-go, and I also close out lame profiles (i.e. things I cannot live without with answers like air, food & water, and the dreaded “I’ll tell you later” or “first you have to be my best friend!” sort of answers to other questions. In other words, I have a pretty contained group of open matches.

Past 14 days: 124 new matches
In Communication: 23
Viewed By: 41

I average 7 to 10 new matches a day. The total number of matches for the past 14 days did not exceed 140 as I have never received more than 10 matches in a single day. I’m aiming for good and not perfect, so I’ll use my open numbers. The offset to open only is that I did not initiate contact with any men in the past two weeks. If I did, my overall numbers would be higher. A truly accurate representation of eHarmony would need considerably more than just me; but so far I’m the only one offering to share real numbers.

Other affecting factors: I’m 48, female and live in a major city and have limited my matches to 30 miles (my city has population of 250,000, and I am less than one mile from a city with a population of over 8 million).

56.097% of the men who viewed me initiated contact

33.064% of the men I was matched with are active

Those are impressive numbers, and much higher than I could hope to attain in my daily life.

Out of the six men I have come in contact with during daily life so far this morning: 4 were not even in the realm of possibility, 1 would have been fantastic but he already has a wife, and the remaining 1 would have been great for a weekend but not much longer because I have pants that are older than he is.

Presuming that I will come into direct contact (as in interaction) with 1 to 4 more men today in order to meet or exceed my eHarmony 7 to 10 daily average, I think that eHarmony is giving me an impressive return. Certainly many more serious possibilities than I could meet on an average day on my own.
Posted 23 Jun 2008 at 8:30 am ¶
Shar wrote:
“Are the hundreds of “dead” profiles I was matched with, that didn’t bother to change their profile to clearly and politely indicate their eH status, also “inconsiderate”?”

Yes.

I think the answer to that question should be obvious from your earlier statement of “But the mental effort that eH requires, when you can’t know who’s even a real member, is the main reason I gave it up.”

You are doing the exact same thing as some others did, which you claim is the “real reason” you gave it up.
Posted 24 Jun 2008 at 4:47 am ¶

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