Expectations

This is about this month’s survey.

eHarmony is a tool to meet potential mates, not a relationship dispenser! Do you honestly expect a website to produce you a relationship?

I remember this book that said, “Men have no more time to understand anything. They buy things all ready made at the shops. But there is no shop anywhere where one can buy friendship, and so men have no friends any more.”

Relationships are earned, and relationships don’t fall upon anyone’s lap.

It’s the same as job hunting. You cannot expect a job placement from a temp agency, whatever amount you pay them.

If you joined eHarmony hoping to find your soulmate (that is, a man you click in soooo many levels), you have set yourself up for disappointment. Three-months-to-find-a-soulmate? I doubt it.

If you joined eHarmony hoping to be matched with likable single men, instead of going about doing it randomly yourself, using your own means, then eHarmony may be able to do it for you.

In my 3 months on the service, I met up with 5 guys out of the 12 I communicated with. If I did what I always did in those same 3 months, I wouldn’t have found that many men. I got more than I expected.

The return-on-monetary-investment complaint ticks me off the most. How far does $45 take you these days? For someone to deliver a dining table to your house, the charge is $60. For someone to assemble you an IKEA closet, the charge is $40. For someone to make you a dinner for three the cost is $60. Traveling two hours and back costs $45 in gas. This is a service that you would be using and using and using several hours a week for thirteen weeks. There’s a 24/7 1-800 customer service number to guide you on anything. What?

The only complaint I understand is from those who receive very few matches, because of probably their age, geography and, in my case, ethnicity. This I understand. To those who are considering eHarmony, I would like to say, “buyer beware,” — get an idea first of the quantity and quality of men you will be receiving, for a few days or weeks, before paying for the service.

To existing members, well, there are settings you can change to cast a bigger net. These settings helped me during the times when matches were a trickle.