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Comments 5

1. Scott Grey wrote:

   Don’t worry. They’re all kinda lame. Think of them as “icebreakers”. Pick questions that sorta-kinda make sense to you, and don’t obsess too much.

   Posted 28 Apr 2008 at 11:33 am ¶
2. Slam wrote:

   There are five questions that I _always_ send and the answers do tell me something about the woman answering them. I’ve never closed anyone based on their answer (except for the one woman who answered “well, it depends” without elaborating for most of the questions). I don’t pick the questions that ask what kind of activities they like or other things like that. I pick the more personal questions.

   Posted 28 Apr 2008 at 3:03 pm ¶
3. Pyke wrote:

   If I am the one initiating, I send the five most baggage-free, non-psychotic and inconsequential questions. If she initiated, four of the five questions I send are related to what I wrote in my profile, especially the “what are you looking for” bit. Like Slam I’ve never closed people based on their answers, but on the second case, I put them on their toes.

   Just avoid asking the same topic more than once, e.g., two romance questions, two exercise questions, and so forth.

   Let me know if you want to know which questions I use.

   Posted 28 Apr 2008 at 8:50 pm ¶
4. SingleGuyInNC wrote:

   IMHO, the really “personal” questions don’t work because the wording is ambiguous and you aren’t sure what answer you are getting.

   It’s best to save those topics for the later communication stages.

   I look for what gaps there are in the profile about the “basics” and personality traits that are important to me. It’s enough to stop and make them think but not really difficult. I rarely change them between matches.

   I don’t see how anyone can rule someone out based on just those questions. My guesses, if they did, would be that they are fairly inflexible or didn’t fill out the personality profile accurately.

   I’ll throw out my five and how I arrived at them:
   I’m active, so I like to know how often they exercise, as that’s a good indicator of level of activity. You would think that would screen some folks out but almost everyone responds that they exercise with some frequency.

   I’m a bit of a go-getter, so I ask if they are ambitious.

   I ask if about how they are financially (okay, maybe this is pretty bland and possibly a turn-off) as saving for a rainy day is a pet-peeve of mine but you don’t get much feedback with the canned answer choices.

   I ask if they are trusting (hmm, maybe it’s a bit creepy to ask someone this one) but I think that provides a great insight into their personality.

   Finally, I ask if they are dominant in their personal life.

   (If anyone reading this thinks I’ve committed a big no-no in using one of these or wants to discuss further, by all means, please let me know)

   Generally, these, coupled with their profile helps to give me a better picture of who they are. I would say that I either rule them out right away when I read their profile or they are a “maybe” and I need to get a better picture by getting to OC.

   Posted 29 Apr 2008 at 8:31 am ¶
5. Steph wrote:

   I just recently joined the site, but I think asking the hard hitting questions first would be the way to go. I like to know what I’m getting into and asking those questions right up helps me eliminate the people it wouldn’t work with. After that I can focus more on getting to know my match and developing chemistry rather than worrying whether or not we agree on an important topic that we have yet to discuss.

   Posted 20 Jan 2009 at 5:08 pm ¶

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