More commentary on the “Navigating the One Night Stand” eHarmony Advice article:
… Several years ago, Dr. Neil Clark Warren, founder of eHarmony, was closely associated with Focus on the Family. He separated from the organization after deciding to expand his services to the wider market. However, “Navigating the One Night Stand” takes this a step further by completely breaking eHarmony away from its Christian, pro-marriage beginnings.
After 24 hours, the article was removed from the eHarmony website. However, this will do little to undo the damage to their reputation. How did the advice column get there in the first place? It was clearly an intentional element of a well-designed newsletter, complete with a graphic of a tousled couple in bed together. eHarmony can make amends by issuing a full retraction, an apology and an explanation of how this occurred. At minimum, this e-newsletter represents gross negligence. The apology should also be sent to all e-newsletter recipients.
… However, eHarmony’s silence would signal something entirely different. A failure to retract will lead many to believe that eHarmony sees this as a minor issue and is open to “navigating” its readers into such risky territory again in the future.
Read the rest of the commentary, dated 19 April 2008
Ted Slater, in the crosswalk.com forums, writes,
I was stunned to find this counsel provided by eHarmony and apparently blessed by Neil Clark Warren, a professing Christian. By affirming casual sex with near-strangers, they are showing that they care more about making money than about helping people marry well. Ah, the Bible once again proves itself relevant when it says that the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil.
I’m married, and so I don’t use this service. But if I were single and a member of eHarmony, I’d think long and hard about whether to drop them in favor of a matching service more concerned about the health of my relationships than about money. And if I were editor of a publication that allows eHarmony ads, I would do what I could to disassociate with them and drop their ads.
Scott Grey writes,
Well, I’m not from the religious right. But I didn’t object to the articles for moral reasons. I just thought they were stupid.
If someone’s looking for a one-night stand, they don’t fill out 300 question personality questionnaires, pay $60 a month, and go through a long process of guided communication to get a one-night stand. It’s just the wrong audience.
And, frankly, if someone wants a one-night stand, they don’t need the advice that eHarmony gave. People aren’t looking for advice on etiquette after the one-night stand. Or fashion tips. People who have one-night stands have already figured this stuff out.
E.Ricci writes (in a post dated 2 April 2008),
It’s okay to promote casual or pre-marital sex and drinking but it’s too over the top to allow gays and lesbians to join the site and provide them services?
Hmm…Sounds like hypocrisy to me.
Jezebel (the Gawker magazine) writes,
eharmful advice: Can you marry someone you screw on the first date?
… Anyway, the eHarmony people have since renounced one-night stands entirely, labeling them “inconsistent” with “long term relationship success,” and since long term relationship success is what we’re all seeking here I asked myself whether I shouldn’t do the same, and focus on finding a mate with an established interest in finding Ms. Right. That’s right, I checked out my eHarmony “matches”! …
… In conclusion, after examining the logistics and opportunity cost involved in actually meeting any of these avowed commitment-friendly singles, I elected to maintain a policy of amenability to one-night-stands. It’s always possible to fuck someone on the first date without becoming immediately repulsed by them, right?
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