Your complete guide: How to cancel eHarmony

What follows is the most complete instructions in quitting eHarmony. While each of these steps may be enough on its own, if you want your privacy back completely, you will need to be thorough and do all steps.

Even if the compatibility questionnaire rejected you, eHarmony retains your personal information permanently. As per their privacy policy, they will share your information with anybody they want (a.k.a., partner companies).

First, some answers to frequently asked questions

  • Can I cancel my subscription? Yes, anytime. But unlike a newspaper subscription, unless you cancel within 3 days (7 days for eHarmony UK), you do not get any refunds for the unused time.
  • Can I put my subscription on hold? Nope, again, unlike newspaper subscriptions.
  • Does my subscription renew automatically? Like newspapers, yes. You have to cancel your subscription to turn the autorenewal off. The instructions are below.
  • Can I still communicate with my matches after I’ve cancelled my subscription? Yes, you’re a paid-up subscriber until your unrefunded subscription runs out. Unless you close your account. Instructions to close your account are below, too.
  • What if I didn’t cancel and stopped coming to the site? They don’t care. Come auto-renewal time, they will charge your credit card a renewal.
  • I’ve stopped receiving matches or hearing from the site, does this mean it’s cancelled? Hell, no.
  • I’ve turned Matching off, does this mean it’s cancelled? No, either.
  • Can I get a confirmation or proof that it is cancelled? Sorry, you can’t. After all, they could easily say, “our records show that you reinstated your subscription on June 14″.
  • How can I be sure it’s cancelled, then? Follow all the steps below.

Step 1. Remove your credit card information

The guaranteed way to stop repeat credit card charges from eHarmony is giving them a dummy credit card number to bill. Here’s how.

Main article: Want to remove your credit card number in eHarmony? (Part 2)

Step 2. Remove your email address

The guaranteed way to stop receiving emails from eHarmony is giving them a dummy email address to nag. Here’s how.

Main article: How to stop receiving eHarmony emails? Give a fake address.

Extra step: Be unmatchable, blank your profile and remove your photos

The guaranteed way to receive no matches in eHarmony is to mess up your match settings. The guaranteed way that members won’t be able to read your profile or see your photos in eHarmony is to remove them. Here’s how.

Main article: How to be unmatchable and blank your profile in eHarmony

Step 3. Cancel your subscription (i.e., turn off auto-renewal)

If you have removed your credit card, you can forget about auto-renewal. But if you want to turn off auto-renewal explicitly, here’s how.

Main article: How to turn off auto-renewal

Step 4. Close your account and get your refund

When you close your account in eHarmony, your records are still there and your matches are still able to read your previous communications and messages. The only difference is that you cannot sign back in.

In fact, you can call eHarmony back to reopen your account and restore your login and you’ll see all your matches again and your communications with them. Read Bill’s story.

If this is okay with you, then here’s how.

Main article: How to delete your account on eHarmony
See also: All about eHarmony’s guarantees and refund policy

Note: As mentioned, you cannot sign back in, so you cannot do any of Steps 1 to 3 anymore after this.

Step 5. Request email proof that your profile is gone.

The only way to permanently remove all your records and personal information from eHarmony isn’t available through the website. You have to tell them in writing to do it. Here’s how.

Main article: How to request TRUST-e to remove your profile in eHarmony.

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    Comments 27

    1. cindy garside wrote:

      I tried eharmony for free for a few days and I do not want to continue thank you cindy

      Posted 27 Oct 2009 at 11:00 am
    2. chris wrote:

      yes i was woundering how can i send a message to a person one the free weekend thing? I thought it was free it keeps asking me to subscribe. How is it free if someone already paid for the servie? i already got a account set hadnt subscribe yet. i was thinking i could get one the free weekend thing

      Posted 31 Dec 2009 at 5:20 pm
    3. Elizabeth R wrote:

      Chris, you are probably using the FastTrack feature. The Free Weekend doesn’t include FastTrack. Non-subscribers can only interact with other users via the numerous Guided Communication stages.

      Posted 31 Dec 2009 at 5:59 pm
    4. me wrote:

      i tried to use a promo code for eharmony and it charged my card b4 i got to put in the code. how can i cx my membership to try to use the code???

      Posted 21 Feb 2010 at 11:54 am
    5. rob8889 wrote:

      I have been trying to contact eHarmony Australia, can’t find an email address or phone number. does anyone have a phone no or email?

      Posted 23 Feb 2010 at 8:17 pm
    6. Éric wrote:

      Hi, I’ve followed the steps to close my account, except for Step 5. When trying to follow the link for “How to request TRUST-e to remove your profile in eHarmony”, I end up at this same page. I can’t access those instructions. I would really like to perform this step, can anyone send me the proper link, or the instructions on how to do it?

      Thanks, Éric ;)

      Posted 02 Jul 2010 at 4:18 am
    7. Anonymous wrote:

      Èric, all you have to do is
      1. Send email to usersupport@eHarmony.com with the word “Remove” in the subject field; or

      2. Send mail to the following postal address:

      here is the page that I got this info from:
      http://www.eharmony.com/ehlabs/privacy

      Posted 14 Aug 2010 at 4:16 pm
    8. Anonymous wrote:

      Sorry, here is the postal address that I forgot to include:

      eHarmony
      P.O. Box 60157
      Pasadena, CA 91116 USA

      Posted 14 Aug 2010 at 4:18 pm
    9. LouAnn Braden wrote:

      I believed this was Christian site and that I would get good responses.

      I WANT A REFUND or I WILL ALL I KNOW I work with 3000 People that eharmony does not do anything if you want a refund.

      Posted 14 Sep 2010 at 4:34 pm
    10. richard wrote:

      i dont have the time to be on e harmony any more good website.

      Posted 18 Sep 2010 at 10:30 am
    11. richard wrote:

      had good time on eharhomny

      Posted 18 Sep 2010 at 10:34 am
    12. Katie wrote:

      When I called on Day 3 to express concern about the quality of the dozen or so matches I had received — two men had written SEX quite plainly on their ‘can’t live withouts’ — the rep apologized and promised to look into the appropriateness of said profiles. When I replied that I would like to cancel my membership as it didn’t seem that quality men were on the site, she quickly extended my 3-day “cancel before” to 14 days. When I asked if she could divulge the male/female ratio she bobbled around before saying it was “close to 50:50 depending on the day.” THEN the flood of matches began. In six days I have received 49 matches!!! At all hours of day, too — not just middle-of-night-standard-match-time. New guys pop up in my inbox midday. It feels like the rep threw some toggle switch that said, “Prove to her that she wants to keep her membership active.” This is no accident. Last year, in a 6-mo subscription, I suppose I got 120 matches. 49 in six days is crazy. What are they manipulating???

      Posted 26 Oct 2010 at 10:28 am
    13. Phil wrote:

      I signed up for eHarmony.co.uk a couple of days ago. I wish I hadn’t bothered. What a bunch of cowboys.

      Aside from the fact that the matches are appalling there is the fact that they wont remove your data from their systems.

      The customer service rep I spoke with (I couldn’t find a working ‘email us’ link on the website so had to use the trusty old phone) told me that they operate according to the Data Protection Act (UK specific) and that the profile data would be retained for 6 years then deleted.

      Did they not think I’d go check that out? It turns out, as I thought, that it’s just complete BS. There are no data retention minimum’s or maximum’s according to the DPA. They just blatantly lied to shut me up and get rid of me. In this day and age there is absolutely no excuse for doing that and being allowed to get away with doing that.

      Scary in that I wonder what else they are doing that they shouldn’t be?

      I wrote about it in more detail here: http://philipturpin.com/post/1480741171/trust-eharmony-with-my-personal-data-id-rather-stay because I feel I should see this through and make them accountable for their actions. Starting with reporting them to the ICO (Information Commissioners Office).

      eHarmony are absolutely NOT to be trusted IMO.

      NB. You may ask why I don’t just change the information in my profile and forget about the account? 1. Because why should eHarmony be allowed to get away with this and 2. It needs someone to start to make a difference and get this changed.

      Posted 04 Nov 2010 at 11:32 am
    14. N wrote:

      Thanks so much for this website! The phone number worked great (different article), I was connected to a rep within a minute, and my account was successfully closed with a full refund (within the 3-day period) five minutes later.

      I can’t stand when companies deliberately hide their contact information and just give you the runaround – I think resources would be better spent creating a product that’s more acceptable to their customers, rather than devoting them to retaining customers against their will!

      Posted 07 Dec 2010 at 7:18 am
    15. jansher wrote:

      I want to cancel my membership please.

      Posted 08 Feb 2011 at 9:51 am
    16. Thomas Waggoner wrote:

      I won’t to cancel my membership now my email tomwa2@live.com please remove me today

      Posted 01 Apr 2011 at 2:35 pm
    17. don't wish to continue thank you anyway wrote:

      Dont want to continue thanks

      Posted 24 May 2011 at 7:59 am
    18. Anonymous wrote:

      Dont want to continue

      Posted 04 Aug 2011 at 4:18 pm
    19. Remove my account wrote:

      Please remove my account

      Posted 25 Aug 2011 at 7:33 pm
    20. Jessica wrote:

      I like to cancel ty

      Posted 08 Sep 2011 at 6:35 am

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