eHarmony Blog.com

Right after redesigning its My Matches screen by highlighting further the RelyID badge and adding (cluttering it with?) “match date” and “last communication date” fields, eHarmony yesterday added a ‘wink’ feature, called “Icebreakers”.

Winks, what are they?

Let me share with you what people think about “winks”:

Most sites offer some sort of initial contact to let someone know that you found their profile interesting. Many of the sites use the same terminology by calling it either a “wink” or an “icebreaker,” but its purpose is to let them know that you’re interested.

A “wink” is nothing more than that. It’s a notification that pops up telling the person of your interest in them. It really doesn’t tell them one thing about you. If you are tight on time and you don’t have the chance to craft an email, this is a quick method to state your interest. One note of caution, in many instances these are often ignored. — Jim McMenamin

If you don’t have a paid membership, you’ll most likely be limited to using ‘winks’ or ‘smiles’ or something similar. These are canned messages that will say something like “Nancy is interested in you” or “Joe winked at you”. Winks and smiles are a quick way to say hello but drastically limit your ability to pique someone’s interest. This puts a lot of pressure on having a terrific profile because it will have to do all of your talking for you. – Ask Dan and Jennifer

I always wondered why winks exist. They are normally free (this will vary by the site) so they do provide a way for a non-paying member to alert a paying member they are interested but then what? This scenario normally falls apart: a non-payer winks at someone, gets an email in response but then can’t communicate any further. To me, this makes winks look more like a marketing ploy to get additional sign-ups. Personally, I always prefered to write an email over a wink. The “I like your profile” message that a wink offers is implied when I write an email, so why bother? I never found a good reason to wink at a girl. — Little Red Rails

Stop sending winks. When is the last time you went to the supermarket, saw a cute guy and winked at him? Winks went out of style when “Happy Days” went off the air. You don’t like it when men send you a wink. You think it makes him seem lazy and like he didn’t read your profile. We think the same thing! So stop winking and start typing. — David Wygant

and if you’d rather watch than read why sending winks is no good:

I want to be fair, but I can’t find any website or person saying winks are useful.

How do winks “Move Beyond ‘Traditional’ Online Dating”?

In eHarmony, members (paid or not) can send (and reply with an) Icebreaker exactly once per match. That’s why the Icebreaker choices come in odd pairs. For example,

John: Your profile got my attention…let’s chat!
Marsha: Wink
John: (huh?)

Scarlett: Just wanted to say ‘Hi!’
Rhett: Would you like to chat?
Scarlett: (Close match: I’m not ready for the next step)

Rick: Wink
Ilsa: (Close match: I don’t feel the chemistry is there)

eHarmony made winks a separate module, so anyone can send them or reply to them at any point. That makes no sense, does it?

Juliet: Describe some personal habits that are important to you.
Romeo: Great pic… love to see more photos!
Juliet: (Huh?)

What do “Icebreaker” emails look like?

I myself received a wink today. Oh, I mean, an eHarmony Icebreaker. Here’s how it read:

Subject: eHarmony Icebreaker received!

Great News! One of Your
Matches Is Interested In You.

Dear eHarmony Blog,

Jan from Anytown, USA has sent you an “Icebreaker.” She/he said, “Just wanted to say ‘Hi!’” Just click here to see her/his profile.

Jan is eagerly awaiting to hear back from you!

Sincerely,

The eHarmony Team

P.S. Not sure what to do? Get expert tips from eHarmony Advice!

«View Profile»

(The “eHarmony Advice” link points to eHarmony’s official announcement of the launch of this feature.)

“Eagerly”?

Even without that “eagerly” word, do you now understand why winks are ignored?

Feature redux: Send First Questions for FREE

Actually, eHarmony had something similar at least two years ago, but much more sinister:

So back then no one was sure whether a member is paying or not if the member initiates communication. I’m glad they stopped doing this.

What do members say about this

Here are actual quotes from members:

• “Want to initiate contact with a match but don’t know where to start?” I already know where to start. It’s called ‘sending First Questions.’
• Why delay?
• I am kind of confused as to what use this feature will be over what we already have.
• Why is there an icebreaker asking a match to post a photo when you can just click on the photo icon of your match to request a photo?
• So wait, there are FOUR choices now: Guided, FastTrack, Secure Call and Icebreaker. Why am I not impressed?
• The choices seem rather trite to me given how serious the rest of the communication process is
• The choices are awful.
• Icebreakers just reminds me of the lower grade dating sites I was trying to get away from.

Scott Grey says, “One icebreaker that might be useful would be, ‘Welcome to eHarmony… I’m looking forward to reading your profile when it’s done!’ I’d actually use that one.”

There was one who opined that adding this feature shows how desperate eHarmony is to increase customer conversion.

What do you think?