8. Ask Rachel. She thinks it’s lame.
7. Many “Close Match” reason choices prove that I’ve lost my mind.
6. People out there are not getting any matches. I should be grateful. Didn’t your mum teach you this?
5. I already paid to talk to them. In Accounting it’s called a sunk cost — keeping them loses me nothing, but closing them loses me opportunities.
4. If they are non-paying members, then who’s to say they will never pay? The timing may just be wrong. I’ve had my match list for four years before I put out the cash.
3. I’m a fool to Dr. Warren. He said, “[We] want you to promise yourself that over the upcoming days and weeks you are going to reach out with an open heart to every single match [eHarmony] brings you.”1
2. I’ve kissed an scaly iguana a long time ago, and, for what it’s worth, it’s no different than kissing a cutesy turtle. I’d have an loyal, principled iguana than a self-centered, confused turtle any day. (And, I found that many iguanas are also good cooks! Yum!)
1. If the questionnaire indeed works, then these people are kindred spirits — people who feel and think the way we do — and are diamond-in-the-rough best friends and buddies. I’m not shunning someone I share a lot of traits with because this person happens to want to marry a neat-freak and I am not one.
So you see, closing matches make no sense at all.