It’s day 2 of my paid membership and they “assign” me to an account specialist. How touching. Here’s Greg’s email:
Top 10 Most Frequently Asked Questions
My name is Greg and I am a member of our Customer Care Member Support team. We want you to have the best experience possible as an eHarmony member and want you to know that our care team is ready to help whenever the need arises.
I am sure you will have a question or two as you go. Below are answers to our top 10 most frequently asked questions. On our website we have a comprehensive FAQ tool that addresses even more questions. And know that, as an eHarmony member, you have premium customer care waiting for you that will respond to your email within 12 to 24 hours, almost every time.
We wish you all the best.
eHarmony Customer Care Team
Here are the top 10 most frequent questions. By clicking on the question, you will be taken down to the answer. You can reach our entire FAQ archive by clicking on the “Help” link at the bottom of every eHarmony page.
- How long should I expect the matching process to take?
- How do I know a match is good for me?
- How do I contact Customer Care and get help?
- How many matches should I expect to receive?
- How does the communication process work?
- How do photos work on eHarmony?
- What about Chemistry?
- How is Age considered in the matching process?
- Is there anything I can do to increase my number of matches?
- How should I handle a match that doesn’t reply to my communication?
How long should I expect the matching process to take?
Everyone who joins eHarmony has a unique experience. There is no “typical” time frame to success.
It may help if we tell you how eHarmony was designed and how it has worked best. We do have members who find their soul mate within the first week of membership. But more often, the members who are most successful make a serious time commitment to our process. We suggest you work at this for 12 months – 6 months at a minimum, but 12 months is best. eHarmony was designed to help you find a long-term relationship. The importance of this life decision means that meeting a variety of people and spending considerable time getting to know them is the best path towards success. This isn’t the place for short cuts, quick fixes, or speed dating.
eHarmony was initially designed as a 12-month program. Because of the stringent nature of our matching process, we know it may take time to give a member a variety of matches. During a 12-month membership, we expect to provide a minimum of 10-25 highly compatible matches for you to consider, though there is no maximum number, and many people receive significantly more.
If you would like to upgrade your membership towards a 6- or 12-month program, we’ve created some convenient programs that will allow you to do so easily and with no out-of-pocket expense until your renewal date. Please contact Customer Care to learn more about eHarmony’s great upgrade values.
How do I know a match is good for me?
One of the reasons that eHarmony has enjoyed such success matching singles is because we are using a unique matching criteria, a proven system for real compatibility that leads to greater success. In fact, a recent research study has proven that eHarmony couples who marry are significantly more satisfied after two years than couples who meet outside of eHarmony.
In other words, what we look for in a match is different than what you look for. That isn’t to say that we are unconcerned about your criteria. Not at all. We want you to apply your standards and preferences to the matches we provide. That’s the chemistry that you must judge for every person we bring you.
But it’s important to remember, if we bring you a match, it is one with a high level of compatibility based on 29 Key Dimensions.
This means that you may be matched with types of people that you normally don’t consider. We will ONLY bring you a match if we believe that the person is highly compatible and worth your time and effort. Reach out to each one. One of the most common testimonials we receive from our married couples is this simple statement. “Before we started communicating, I didn’t think he was my type. But I found out that we’re amazing together.”
Don’t miss out on someone who is amazingly compatible with you.
How do I contact Customer Care and get help?
As an eHarmony member you receive preferential customer service. This means that when you email our Customer Care team your correspondence is generally answered within 24 hours.
At the bottom of every eHarmony page is a HELP link. By clicking on this link, you’ll be able to email Customer Care.
How many matches should I expect to receive?
There is no limit on how many matches you can receive from eHarmony. However, due to our stringent matching criteria, it is unlikely that you will receive more than a few matches at a time. Many members have waited quite some time for their first match, so you may need to be patient. But when you do get matched we encourage you to follow through, initiate communication and fully explore the person we’ve brought to you.
How does the communication process work?
At eHarmony, we make it easy to ask the important questions early, before you become too involved. We have two paths from which you can choose: Guided Communication and FastTrack.
There are four rounds of Guided Communication, followed by unlimited access to our safe, anonymous Open Communication system.
Round 1: Examine Your Match’s Personal Information
The first round lets you start the process of getting to know your match by looking over a page of detailed information about them. You can learn about your match’s occupation, proudest moment, and most important influences. It’s a great way to find out where his or her interests lie and where to direct your questions in Round 2.
Round 2: Exchange 5 Closed-Ended Questions from our list
The second round lets you choose some easy-to-answer but informative questions to ask your match. For example: “If you were taken by your date to a party where you knew no one, how would you respond?”
- a) Stay close to my date, letting him/her introduce me
- b) Find a quiet spot and relax alone
- c) Strike out on my own and make friends
- d) Ask my date if I could skip the event
Round 3: Exchange 10 Must Haves and 10 Can’t Stands
The second round of communication consists of reviewing and exchanging your personal list of Must Haves and Can’t Stands in a partner.
Example Must Haves
- Conflict Resolver – I must have a partner who will work to resolve rather than win arguments or conflicts within our relationship.
- Communicator – I must have someone who is good at talking and listening.
- Wit – I must have someone who is sharp and will keep me on my toes.
Example Can’t Stands
- Rude – I can’t stand someone who is belittling or hateful to people.
- Grudges – I can’t stand someone who has a chip on their shoulder.
- Materialistic – I can’t stand someone who sees material items as a measure of success.
Round 4: Write and Exchange Open-ended Questions
The final step of eHarmony’s anonymous, Guided Communication is the exchange of open-ended questions. They should allow for more thorough, detailed answers that reveal someone’s inner values. Although you can write these questions, eHarmony does provide some samples from which to choose. For example:
“What person in your life has been most inspirational, and why?” ~or~ “Tell me about your closest friend. How long have you known them, and what do you like best about them?”
After you complete the Guided Communication process, eHarmony helps you to continue getting to know your match by:
- Providing a safe, anonymous place for you to send and receive email.
- Helping you anonymously exchange photos.
In addition to the communication process described above we have created FastTrack communication.
FastTrack communication allows two matched users to proceed directly to Open Communication, bypassing our guided communication steps. In Open Communication, you can send complete emails within eHarmony’s anonymous communication system.
By clicking on FastTrack, your match will receive an offer to meet you in Open Communication. This offer and your first Open message are sent immediately. If they accept FastTrack communication, you’re on your way.
If they prefer to stay with the paced, guided communication, you’ll receive a reply letting you know, and you can continue with the guided process.
How do photos work on eHarmony?
eHarmony is primarily focused on letting members get to know their matches from the inside out. Our research clearly tells us that inner values are more important to the success of a long-term relationship than appearance.
However, you can choose to share your photos from the very beginning, and we know that having your photo posted from the very start enhances communication.
We want to give our members the control and flexibility they need to choose which match is right for them. So we’ve created a feature that will allow you to choose when you want to reveal your photo.
On your Photo Setting page, you will be free to reveal your photo:
- at the beginning, before communication begins.
- after you’ve exchanged close-ended questions.
- after you’ve exchanged Must Haves/Can’t Stands.
- after you’ve entered Open Communication.
- on a Match by Match basis.�
If you would like a description of these options, log on to eHarmony and from the My Settings page, click on the “Sharing Settings” link.
In order to view your match’s photos you must be a paying member of eHarmony.
What about Chemistry?
We are passionate about chemistry and believe it to be a big part of any brilliant relationship. As eHarmony founder Neil Clark Warren writes, “Building a great marriage is virtually impossible without the attraction and excitement that come with passionate love.”
It is certainly one of the most mysterious of all human emotions and varies inexplicably from person to person in a way that makes it difficult to factor into the matching process. So…we DON’T match on it.
What we focus on is compatibility�matching you based on 29 key dimensions that are vital to long-term relationship success. So we screen for compatibility first and then you determine where there is mutual chemistry.
The power of the eHarmony process is that it gives you an amazing head start in finding someone to love for a lifetime. Your matches are already screened on the important inside dimensions, so when you start to find yourself attracted to someone, you know that you both have what it takes for the relationship to thrive over the long haul.
How is Age considered in the matching process?
eHarmony uses a complex mathematical algorithm when determining your matches’ age range. It is based on your age and the range our matching research has shown is optimal for long-term compatibility. You can view the age range we have pre-selected for you by
- Logging in to your eHarmony account.
- Clicking on the My Settings tab at the top of the page.
- Clicking on the Match Settings subheading link.
- Scrolling to the bottom of the section labeled “Personal Preferences.” You will see the upper and lower age limits for your matches selected for you in this section.
We also give you the flexibility to widen the suggested age range.
To widen the age range of your matches:
- Increase the maximum and/or decrease the minimum age of your matches by clicking the “Edit Preferences” link to the right of the section heading labeled “Personal Preferences.”
- Scroll to the bottom of the page and enter the new age range in the boxes provided.
- Click on the “Save and Continue” button at the bottom of this page.
Please note: For a match to be created both parties must have compatible age range settings.
Is there anything I can do to increase my number of matches?
eHarmony’s goal is to provide each user with at least 10 to 25 highly compatible individuals with whom you can communicate. How quickly this happens depends on the pace with which new participants become involved, your particular compatibility profile, and your Match Settings criteria. You might want to review and reconsider your Match Settings. These are your criteria for geographical location, race, religious denomination, whether a person has children, etc. If you are open to broadening some of these criteria, especially geographical location, the likelihood increases that we can find you matches who are not only highly compatible with you, but also meet your Match Settings criteria. To review your Match Settings, login to eHarmony, go to the My Settings section and click on the Match Settings link.
How should I handle a match that doesn’t reply to my communication?
If a match has yet to respond to your initial communication, we ask that you first wait a week or two. People go on vacation, take business trips or sometimes are just slow to respond. These things prevent them from diligently checking their email. After two weeks, if you have not received a response you may wish to place this match on hold or close the match.