eHarmony Blog.com

Questions I get asked on eHarmony:

What are your body-type preferences for your mate?
I am overweight, and not comfortable with it–I’m working it off at the gym now. I would like to stay strong and capable, regardless of how I look. I would hope for the same across the table.

Do you consider yourself physically affectionate when involved in a relationship?
Sure, I love to hold hands, hug and give casual kisses. I think that contact, even simply brushing past each other slowly in a hall way, is a way to stay connected. Affection says “You’re special.”

Would you rather date someone who is busy or available all the time?
Slightly busy, but flexibly available most nights. But that doesn’t mean I am an attention hog. Both need down time, and there should be spontaneous options for that time to be together. –Busy is ok but some spontaneity would be good and an undercurrent feeling that I am needed and wanted is nice to have.

What quirks would bother you most about your partner?
Helium voice, funny smells, antennae *and* bad grammar )

How important is chemistry to you?
-I appreciate chemistry because it helps propel us early in a courtship, until deeper appreciations are discovered. Then I would say that the chemistry matures.
-I am visual yes and sensitive to chemistry, but my best romances have emerged from long-time just-friends that took a turn. The trust there is.

Your idea of a romantic time would be:
I think that romance matures. Early dates, maybe candle-lit dinner out is just the thing. Later, she may prefer the intimacy of cooking together. Romance blankets a couple but doesn’t bind.

If I had a bad day, what is the first thing you would do for me?
I would ask you what you want, then I would try to provide. Probably talks are most helpful, if I had to guess. Then take you out and distract you~!

If you decided to stay at home for the evening what would you tend to do?
Alone I would probably tend to projects or some down time (DVD or write)… with someone else I would see what’s up …

Your idea of adventure is:
Eating my son’s cooking. Seriously, Hiking and exploring is more adventure for me.

What style of dress do you prefer?
My work clothes are black jeans and an oxford. Weekends are for tees. I have dockers and use those to bump it up a little. Shower, shave and a haircut go a long way to clean me up.

Which of the following things would you rather have lots of?
Respect is more important than fame, fortune, females. I couldn’t live a meaningful life if I had ONLY the other three. Those guys are dime a dozen…

How often do you find yourself laughing?
-Work, play, errands–there is always something that gives rise to humor or at least a wry smile. I am highly associative so making humorous connections is hard to miss.
-I crack myself up… Almost. Humor is everywhere and even where levity is called for my writer’s eye can’t help but wander to the inconsistencies. But I am considerate and know when to button up. )

Are you a passionate person?
Passion is subjective. While I have strong opinions about some things, I am cautious not to hold them over people through diatribe. We are all pretty smart and can make out own choices.

Scenarios that make you nervous?
Listening to my daughter say, “we should talk.”

On Saturday night, where would you rather go?
Somewhere where we can relax and talk with 6 or 8 friends, or by ourselves. Movies are fun, but should not to be mistaken for social events.

Where do you see yourself living in 15 years?
A house in the country, but modest and pretty. I still like to be nearby the city for easy access.

If you could take a dream getaway, where would you most likely choose to spend a week?
A cottage by the sea, since the warm ocean seems to be among my favorite places. I do favor a cool, dense forest for walks though.

How would you assess your verbal intimacy skills?
I am comfortable talking about my innermost needs and desires. I realize that there are some things that you might not want to share and I would have patience for that. I try to be very accomodating.

What’s your philosophy on travel?
I would like to take a few big trips each year, but I have not been with someone who would go. Meanwhile I save. If you want to go then I would want to go too. )

When in a relationship, how much personal space do you generally find you need?
A little personal space each day helps level out stress. It can fluctuate but it’s something that I can trade off, too, depending.

If you decided to stay at home for the evening what would you tend towards?
I would be torn between TV and reading, depending what’s available on the DVR and what’s on the bookshelf that night. Above all, I think I enjoy writing the most.

What best describes your attitude toward work?
I don’t *love* my job, but for now, it balances the budget. I like doing well at it, but I have *soooo* many other interests that it’s hard to get wrapped up in more than 40 hours of it.

If you went out to eat with a friend, which of the following would you prefer?
Hole in the wall with great food. Growing up visiting my ex-hippie mom’s favorite haunts, I enjoyed the “eat, socialize, play chess, read poetry” mood. Upscale’s ok but I recall my humble roots…

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