From “The Spectrum”: People are not that hard to figure out

An odd article from Kara Bennett, art/lifestyle editor of the University of Buffalo student newspaper, The Spectrum, yesterday:

… Some may find dating services such as “eHarmony” to be reductive and insincere due to its accordance with typification, but truth be told, people are not that hard to figure out. When it comes down to brass tacks, you and I are pretty much one-dimensional.

Even though the clientele may be fairly static, it doesn’t mean that the evaluation process should be equally unprovocative. If I had it my way, the questionnaires would be so tangled that even the person answering wouldn’t understand what they’re admitting to.

The following are a few covert queries that correspond with some of “eHarmony’s” 29 dimensions, but you’d never know it.

1.) A maniacal tooth fairy has decided to curse your libido. You are no longer able to fornicate with the one woman you truly love, and every desire you have to express your sexual attraction towards this “one true love” is translated into a practical joke. She has decided to allow you to throw pies in her face so long as you give her permission to bump hoo-hoos with a farm animal on a monthly basis. Which farm animal would you permit to penetrate her? (Dimensions revealed: Conflict Resolution, Kindness, Dominance, Humor.)

Huh?