Everyone can help promote honesty on dating sites by…

[Making a formal post to hopefully start a positive movement from what was mentioned in a comment on here]

If a dating site isn’t working for you and you aren’t an active member:

  • Set your profile not to be searchable
  • Delete your profile if you looked “at the pond” and found it to be “empty” and don’t anticipate using it again/signed up on a trial basis
  • When they ask you for feedback as to why you are closing your account, tell them their service doesn’t work and you aren’t going to stick around to fluff up their membership numbers
  • Post these suggestions elsewhere so others will follow suit

If you are a subscriber:

  • If you can, mark/flag inactive profiles and obvious scammers and insist upon their removal to get your money’s worth
  • Report poor service to customer service
  • Report poor customer service to supervisors AND post them on the web

If you are on eHarmony, deleting your account would be the strongest gesture of your dissatisfaction (apparently the data never “goes away”, so you should be able to come back) but at a minimum you should turn off matching if you are no longer an active subscriber so current subscribers can see there really is no one there and “hear the pin drop”.

If you decide to come back to a service:

  • Try not to create a new account so that you aren’t increasing their membership base

If you have been a long-time eDater and end up being successful outside of eDatingland:

  • Let us know on here that you were successful
  • Let us know what you did that resulted in your success
  • If you were trying some activity group or something else that is repeatable, let us know
  • Even if you bump into someone randomly, perhaps being clumsy and approachable is the new modality for meeting people!
  • All of this reinforces to others to try other avenues to meet people (people somehow were able to meet before the Internet) and hopefully deflate the artificially successful online dating balloon

If you have other suggestions, please add them to the comments on here…

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    Comments 3

    1. FernandoArdenghi wrote:

      You can call your credit card representative and say *automatic rebilling* for online dating sites should be forbidden.

      If Be2 had collapsed thanks to different consumers associations who denounced as a fraud in Mexico, Spain, Belgium and other countries, the same can happen with other dating sites.

      Posted 30 Apr 2011 at 5:57 pm
    2. CAB3 wrote:

      I will admit- very disappointed customer. I joined eharmony for the first time thinking maybe, just maybe I might meet someone who is at same point as I am, even if for a conversation. I requested matches be within 60 miles of my home, THEY ARE USUALLY WITHIN 6000 MILES OF MY HOME. I took the time to complete what I would like to see, most of the matches I get do not meet the criteria in any capacity, have very little written in their profile and usually have inappropriate comments listed. I was told eharmony was different and that they filtered the profiles- wrong…. Any matches I am sent, seem to be just to say they sent something. I was considering renewing- but for what? I could meet better people in a bar and that was what I was avoiding. And as for changing my matching settings, been there, done that. How much more do I need to lower my standards for eharmony to work. NO, THIS HAS BEEN A VERY DISAPPOINTING EXPERIENCE.

      Posted 18 May 2011 at 6:41 pm
    3. Emily wrote:

      My suggestions:
      Read profiles before sending off that message. Only message someone if you meet what they state they are looking for. It’s extremely frustrating to get 20 emails per day to surf through, only to discover they are all a complete waste of time because they ignored my “looking fors”.

      Don’t lie or misrepresent yourself. No, you cannot trick someone into meeting you and falling in love with the real you. People do not fall in love with liars who waste their time.

      Men, don’t message a woman over and over and then never ask her out. What’s the point? (unless, of course, she said something like “I like to do meth”)

      If you do not want to date a single parent, do not message a single parent. Don’t waste anyone’s time. Look at profiles thoroughly before getting someone’s hopes up. Likewise if someone is out of your age range, too far away, etc.

      Speaking of too far away, we are all on dating sites because we haven’t had any luck in “real life”. If you honestly think you’re going to meet your soul mate within a 15 mile radius of your house, then go for it. But don’t sit around complaining you can’t meet someone when you are getting emails from people who live within 2 or 3 hours of you. When you fall in love with the right person, that distance will not matter. You don’t know before even dating someone what their situation is, and one of you might be willing to move at some point. Don’t limit yourself and then complain about it.

      Posted 27 Jan 2012 at 3:04 pm

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