EHB, on your side — August 2010 issue
eHarmony Blog is on your side. If you have a complaint with eHarmony and you have trouble getting through customer service, let us know. Don’t forget to give your eHarmony account email address and don’t forget to give us permission to chase eHarmony on your behalf.
Here is last month’s supply of consumer complaints against eHarmony posted on the leading gripe website ConsumerAffairs.com, plus our comments. Some of this month’s complaints are valid and justified, thus highlighted, while the rest are “buyer beware — read the fine print” or may be resolved with a call to customer service.
No, we are not eHarmony, we just like to help out or comment. If you have an opinion as well, post them at the end of the article.
#1 rosalind of winthrop, MA July 29, 2010
eharmony hadn’t sent me a single member from June 12, 2010 to the end of my contract, July 26th. I thought my membership was expired since I hadn’t red’d members and turned-off the automatic renewal subscription. But I am charged for an additional 6 month membership.
Rosalind, this actually happens to many people, and none of it is illegal: Auto-renewals and the Federal Trade Commission
#2 Alicia of Houston, TX July 28, 2010
They advertise to public offering a week trial period. I too time to upload pictures, fill out extensive questionnaire, etc. However, one has to PAY to be able to communicate to other party after going through the question and answer forum. This is blatant false advertising and it affects both parties. I can’t respond to the other party unless I am willing to pay. The person on the other end doesn’t get a response and never really knows why… basically he will assume that his request was ignored by me.
Yes, Alicia, they did a very bad job at explaining what was free and what wasn’t.
#3 dorothy of santa rosa, CA July 27, 2010
I replied to a free trial offer and did not get anything real for all the time I spent filling out their application. They offered free communication and gave no pictures, no e mail availability and only very stilted fill out the form communication. Seemed like false advertising to me and no response to my inquiries.
Yes, Dorothy, they hid the facts under an asterisk.
#4 anthony of savannah, GA July 26, 2010
Dear readers i am resorting to this email because e – harmony IS NOT a reputable dating service, DO NOT waste you time, energy and hard earned money joining them. first of all there is no such thing as free trial, you see NO photos unless you join, how long those profiles been in their archives? only God knows. after i tried to benefit from their free trial advertizements, i DID fill in and answered almost 150 questions they were asking in there sign up form, i descovered i get to see NO photos much less get to chat to any of the members,
so i decided that is just NOT me & i didn’t wanna be a part of it but unfortunately i have been getting umteen non-sense emails, approximately 3 or 4 a day, i have been emailing their support personnel and asking then to please stop sending me their emails due to i had no interest in what they were offering, but all those 4 or 5 requests have falling to deaf ears, Please think twice before you decide to join, even filling in their questionnaire will be a mistake. Thank for reading, be careful, good luck
Anthony, their support personnel are probably inundated from complaints like yours during this promotion. This “free but not free” weekend is deceitful, indeed.
#5 Marsha of Westwego, LA July 25, 2010
I am very disappointed in this dating site. They offer a 10 day free communication week. I feel this is false advertisement. I spent a lot of time with the cat and mouse chase to find someone and finally get to the e-mailing stage only to find out that I am not able to do that unless I subscribe to their service. WHAT A RIPOFF!! Now I have people on the other end thinking I must be some kind of weirdo or something not wanting to talk with them. It’s a shame they do business this way. A complete waste of time, mine and theirs. I will never use this site again and I hope others will think about this before they start on a journey that will never come to pass.
Good advice. eHarmony is getting what it deserves this week.
#6 Diane of Napes, FL July 25, 2010
eHarmony has been advertizing on TV and the internet 10 free trial days to use their online dating site. During the trial period you cannot see pictures nor can you email making it impossible to form a true opinion of the dating service. My personal experience tells me their advertizement is fradulent due to limited disclosure. You are led to believe that you have full access when in fact are limited unless you join.
Diane, “No credit card, no obligation” to them means, “nothing is free” either. Bad move.
#7 Liz of Barberton, OH July 25, 2010
I was truly disappointed by E harmony dating service because after filling out multiple pages of compatibility forms, they told me I was not allowed to use their service. Let responders decide that. I was married 3X, but with tragic circumstances (2x) leading to divorce. That does not make me a bad person…but would not lie about it. So…
Liz, “Married thrice = bad person” is their general belief. Be grateful that, unlike many people, you didn’t give them money.
#8 William of LYMM, United Kingdom July 24, 2010
I rejoined after receiving several emails virtually pleading with me to do so. When filling on the form I specified it was for one month only & completed the box specifying termination after 1 month. Imagine my surprise and disgust to find that the renewed my membership without asking me. I have sent several emails but of course they bounce back. The are a completely dishonest company and it looks like I will have to cancel my credit card to avoid letting them take another payment next month.
William, see How to cancel your eHarmony account.
#9 Anderon of Las Vegas, NV July 24, 2010
They advertise on TV a “free communication week” however you cannot really get to communicate to matches because they control the conversation, so you cannot actually communicate with anyone freely. This is “bate and switch” and I am glad I didn’t give them my credit card number. What a waste of time!
Yes, Anderon, they’re a bunch of lying scumbags. If “communicate” means “letting another person know you clicked a button”, they’ll advertise it as “Communicate with your matches for free!” That’s how they are.
#10 Dr. of Greenwich, CT July 24, 2010
eharmony offered a special monthly rate and every time I went in it solicited again for joining, I could not cancel my membership after 3 days as there were no persons or e-mails to write to or call. I found then fraudelent.
Dr, if you know about the 3-day deadline you would also know that you can mail them your cancellation request. That would have been what you have done.
For now, see How to cancel your eHarmony account before they renew your service automatically. They will do this unless you cancel.
#11 Suann of Bridgewater, NJ July 21, 2010
I have been approaching lawyers on a class action suit. E-Harmony does use profiles of people that are no longer paying therefore you will never get a response. This is consumer fraud. I made a complaint to the BBB and E Harmony did refund some money. However, since I am no a paying person I do not want my profile in cyber space so some person thinks that I did not respond and they would feel bad. The site gives false hopes.
Suan, close your account and your profile will be removed from cyberspace.
#12 Karen of Johnson City, NY July 21, 2010
Service does not provide matches, and states that I have to broaden my distance settings to receive matches. I want local matches. I live in one of the most populated states in the union (NY) and my distance settings include one of the most populated cities in the world (NYC) You can’t tell me there are no single white christian men between 42-56 in that geographic area! Also, once in a blue moon they do send a match, but they usually are non-responders, which likely is because they aren’t paid members. They make it impossible to contact customer service.
I tried to cancel within the 3 days allowed by my state law, but the only way I could contact them was through a general email box on their website. They never responded and didn’t issue me a refund and cancel my service as I requested. Also, when I click on the button to find new matches, it always says that there are no matches in the system for me, but when they rarely do send a match, it is someone who is not a new subscriber but who has been in the system a long time, which says to me that they are withholding matches and doling them out at a set rate…a rate which seems designed to just barely get around the bare minimum of the law.
I have tried this service a number of times over the years, under a couple different email addresses. I have lost a considerable amount of money. Also, this has caused emotional distress for which I have seen a therapist, in that I have become very depressed, because eH is intentionally trying to lead me to believe that I am a difficult person to match or even next to impossible, so that they can keep exploiting me and taking my money.
Karen, at what point did you realize you were chasing a dream by returning and returning to the site and paying them money? I can understand if they did this to you once, but to keep trying the service a number of times? Sorry, I think some of this is your fault.
#13 Mary of Murfreesboro , TN July 21, 2010
I joined emharmony in response to their ad that promised all of these matches. I had 3 payments. While payment #1 was being processed, I got some mathes — but none of them were really there. The one who did respond had been married multiple, multiple times and was a carnival worker. I have been married once and had a PhD. I have had no matches at all day after day, week after week — nobody — nothing.
You cannot contact them. The “contact us” link does not work. Sending email to the contact for collecting my money comes back maelerdameon undeliverble. There is no phone number. Now I find I can’t even cancel– there is no way to contact them unless you want to sign up and give them money. I have purchased a product that is not being delivered. I mean — not even one match at all! Well, they stole 3 months of payments from me and did not deliver the product the promsied.
Mary, call your credit card and dispute the charges, if you can. Claim that they did not deliver the product.
#14 Jules of Boca Raton, FL July 21, 2010
Months of trying to contact the customer service to no avail to cancel the subscription that I never signed up for after the 3 month service that was pitiful. Their website redirects your emails, and questions to nothing. I started to copy paste everything for a trace and proof that helps to file a suit, finally going to cancel my card, but filed a consumer complaint with my credit card and they gave me a number that I was connected to a live person who “says” they are going to credit my account. We shall see. The woman said 7-10 business days.
Jules, it seems someone else used your credit card to pay for eHarmony. I hope you got all your money back.
#15 David of Columbus, OH July 19, 2010
Eharmony is nothing more than a complete waste of time and money. Everyone has seen or heard their ads with their false claims about matching people based on personality. When you sign up, you do end up spending way too much time filling out forms to make you think that it really is all about matching people based on personality (ie- rate your sense of humor, etc.).
Most of the matches I’ve had over the last ~year since signing up have been from out of state even though I have my settings set to local matches only. And after reading my matches profiles, most seem to be interested in things that I am not, such as many like to travel while I do not. So much for the idea of matching based on personality. The women who I wanted to communicate with pretty much ignored me while the ones who innitiated communication with me were definately not women that I would have wanted a long term relationship with.
And to top it off, eharmony has a very low success rate. Only 5 of every 100 who sign up pay to communicate. And of those 5, only 35% end up married. That’s a success rate of 1.75%. I still have not found any stats about whether or not these marriages are truely successful or not. Why waste 20 a month with such slim chances of success?
David, Where did you read or find the “Only 5 of over 100 pay. Of those 5, only 35% end up married” information? In any case, David, since you never said you joined or subscribed, what is your complaint?!?
#16 Muller of Warner Robins, GA July 19, 2010
E Harmony is the biggest waste of time and money I have ever made! I have found it to be no better than any of the other on line dating sites. They keep matching me to people half way across the country. There is no way I could go to meet them if I wanted to. They are always what they call a “flexible match”. Never a true match. All the profiles say the same thing. It is just like people are trying to say what they think I want to hear, or wharever sounds good.
A few people that I have tried to communicate with locally, always just suddenly dissappeared, or turned out to not be truthful. I could have got that from any dating site. I sure don’t know where their scientific matching system is, but I sure see no evidence of one! The price is outrageous, too! I had no trouble cancelling my subscription, however, in the process, I found a tab that said “How To Request A Refoud”. I tried it, but it just gave a story about how you need to give the system time to work, and really never explained any kind of refund, and led nowhere. In my oppinion, E Harmony is just a big scam.
I agree, Muller, that their Q&A page on “How do I get a refund?” never answered the question. It’s outrageous.
There are distance settings and flexibility settings that you change to stop receiving faraway and flexible matches. Regarding the truthfulness and trustworthiness of your matches’ profiles, there’s nothing you or the site can do about it. Members can write and post whatever malarkey they want. You can, too.
#17 Nicholas of denver, CO July 18, 2010
I just spent all day filling out all kinds of stuff.. Literally for hours and hours ive been filling eharmonys compatabilty forms out.. Then finally i am finished and the site doesnt let me go any farther unless i paid a monthly subscription of 20 some odd dollars.. I just wasted an entire day on there site.. Im so mad… I wish they could read what i have to say..
If it is any consolation, Nicholas, they WILL be reading this. Regarding it being a paid site, I think the site front page is clear that communicating with matches requires a paid subscription.
At this point, be grateful that, unlike many people in this article, you didn’t give them any money.
#18 Laura of SImpsonville, SC July 17, 2010
In the spring of 2010, I paid for one year’s subscription to eHarmony. It is now July 2010 and I am denied access to the site. Basically I’ve paid for 8 or 9 months’ use that eHarmony is not providing.
Here’s the background: About 3 weeks ago, my password quit working. I requested help with the password and received the message ‘You have successfully requested a new password. Instructions have been sent to your email address.’ After that first request, eHarmony did send an email with the password I had been using. That password still did not work. Subsequent requests for help result in the same ‘success!’ message yet no email is ever sent. The site used to accept emails from customers. Earlier, I sent an email complaining about the quality of matches. I never received a reply but for a few days, I was inundated with 15-20 ‘matches’ a day (unheard of response!) though they clearly were not ‘matches.’
I decided to change my account so that it would not automatically renew. To do that, I had to select ‘cancel my subscription.’ That choice took me to a page where I was able to turn off automatic renewal. I was shown a message indicating that my account would not automatically renew in the spring of 2011. The message led me to believe I was still enrolled for the full 12 months for which I had paid. I thought it was tricky of eHarmony to force me to think I was risking canceling my subscription to reach the stop automatic renew option.
Now I believe it was their intent all along to actually deny access from that point on as a week or so later, my password stopped working. SHAME on eHarmony and BUYER BEWARE – any means of communication you THINK you might have with the company will disappear when you voice a concern. I paid for several months’ use that I was not granted.
Correct, Laura, that “turn off auto-renew” procedure threatens that you are cancelling your paid subscription and throwing away your money, when you aren’t. They purposely don’t make it easy for people to quit the service.
Regarding your password, site access and the rest of your subscription, you will need to call them. Here are the eHarmony phone numbers.
#19 Marko of Jersey City, NJ July 16, 2010
I know my subscription will expire but didn’t know that they will renew without my permission. EHarmony is the biggest scam ever by all means. I set my preferences to receive matches from 23-28 I kept getting 34 and 36. I selected white female and I kept an getting others, I selected certain states and kept an getting other states as well. I wasted my Money; I thought that no one likes me while in fact they are using the free weekend to feed their data base with more singles but if they don’t pay to respond to me no action will be taken.
Yes, Marko, free weekends are their regular way of loading their database with dead profiles. Regarding their no-notice auto-renewals, this is in fact, legal. See Auto-renewals and the Federal Trade Commission.
#20 Kimberly of Crystal Lake, IL July 10, 2010
I’m writing because of a statement I read asking eHarmony to update their ads on television. She asked what happened to those people–the ads are 5 years old. Well, 5 years ago I met my soon to be ex-husband on eHarmony. Scientific match? I had nearly 60 matches sent to me! I sincerely doubt that they were all “scientific” matches for me–more like ways to keep people paying their ridiculous rates. While it is a good way to meet people, in no way are these people any more or less a match than someone you meet in the produce eisle at the grocery store.
For what it’s worth, Kimberly, congratulations for finding a husband in eHarmony! You did better than many of us.
#21 Van of Richardson, TX July 7, 2010
eHarmony is a scam. At least other dating sites allow the all users (paying or not) to reply back to the person who initiated the communication as long as one person is paying. EHARMONY DOES NOT ALLOW TWO-WAY COMMUNICATION UNLESS BOTH PARTIES ARE PAYING MEMBERS. This is their policy, but it is not stated anywhere during the signup. So poor saps like me signing up for long-term contracts think for the entire duration of the service contract that people aren’t responding because there’s something wrong with me only to find out later that maybe the people I contacted couldn’t even respond to me unless they pay 60/month!
That’s a scam by any definition of the word. By not stating the requirements for two-way communication during sign up they are taking people’s money and letting them hope to connect with people only to later realize with dispair that all that time and effort in trying to contact people was nothing but a WASTE OF TIME AND EFFORT because the people you’re trying to contact was able to respond anyhow.
Spread the word. eHarmony is a scam. No matter what, even if they restructure their policies, eHarmony is never to be trusted again. Do NOT use eHarmony. Oh yeah… they don’t even have a contact number or email where you can call them. I tried looking on their site but found shite. I lost time and money to eHarmony. Nothing psychological or physical but I do feel like a chump for believing in their sincerity of “helping me find the perfect match.” They don’t care to match you with unless both of you pay them money to be matched up. They should rename their site to be called, eHarmony4Chumps – “we match you on 10000 levels of compatibilities so that you can rest assured the person you meet is 100% certified CHUMP because both of you paid for a service where only a small percent of new matches can even correspond with you.”
While your various assertions are correct, Van, I regret to tell you that each of the top ten paid sites in the United States require both persons paying.
#22 sheela of roanoke, VA July 7, 2010
I agree with all said in July. I signed up the week before and after spending much time found I could not communicate with out paying other than pre stated sentences. Could not see any pictures and after showing their assessment of me to a friend she agreed it was not me. 60 per month is WAY to much to try out the site. Avoid this one. Glad I did a review search before going farther so I have no damage other than lost time and anticipation.
Thanks for your review, sheela.
#23 ARTISTIC of ITHACA, NY July 6, 2010
want to complain about the eHarmony.com advertisements about a “free weekend” to communicate with matches. I logged in and spent several hours filling out pages of information about myself and then I uploaded a photograph. I ended up with three “matches” and decided to correspond with one of them. I wrote an email and when I tried to send it, I was told that I had to subscribe to the site. I did a lot of “research ” on the site and found that the correspondence they refer to is for you to pick one of five lines they have written up and you can send that. I chose “I’m interested in your profile – write to me!” and sent that. Ironical in that the match couldn’t write to me if he wanted to!!!!!! Add to that irony, the joke that I took the time to upload a photo and the site accepted it, only to find out that as a free guest, I couldn’t view the photos on the site.
I agree, Artistic, that they should show their potential registrants a clear explanation up front of what is free and what isn’t during free weekends. It saves everyone time.
#24 Erin of Kings Park, NY July 6, 2010
After filling out an extensive questionaire I was told I could not use their services because I was “separated” and not divorced. The question that asked for that information was at the very beginning of the survey and should have knocked me out once I answered it. Instead eHarmony will use my data for marketing purposes. I will never, even after my long, long New York State divorce is settled, associate with eHarmony. I will do everything I can to discourage others from using this misleading site. Terrible marketing and I will no longer use services that associate with such a misleading company.
Erin, you are right. The marital status is right in the beginning and the cursed test should have stopped you right there, if it had any decency and consideration of people’s time.
#25 Douglas of Arlington, VA July 5, 2010
I signed up for a “Free Communication Weekend”, spent an hour filling out the forms on line, received 14 matches, spent 20 minutes composing a message to the best match, and ONLY THEN was informed I would have to subscribe to send it (minimum cost > 100, as best I could determine). SLEAZY!
Maddening isn’t it, Douglas?
#26 wayne of chilliwack, BC July 4, 2010
i joined thinking this free commuction week i could connect with no way false statements. if you dont pay . you cant contactanyone
Wayne, you could communicate with your matches during the free communication weekend. While the site puts restrictions, many people still look forward to these events and find dates and boyfriends and girlfriends within these restrictions.
#27 Linda of Abbotsford, BC July 4, 2010
I want to complain about the eHarmony.com advertisements about a “free weekend” to communicate with matches. I logged in and spent several hours filling out pages of information about myself and then I uploaded a photograph. I ended up with three “matches” and decided to correspond with one of them. I wrote an email and when I tried to send it, I was told that I had to subscribe to the site. I did a lot of “research ” on the site and found that the correspondence they refer to is for you to pick one of five lines they have written up and you can send that. I chose “I’m interested in your profile – write to me!” and sent that. Ironical in that the match couldn’t write to me if he wanted to!!!!!! Add to that irony, the joke that I took the time to upload a photo and the site accepted it, only to find out that as a free guest, I couldn’t view the photos on the site. You can also pick from a number of questions and send four or five questions.
But, as far as the ad saying that you can start communicating with your matches – that isn’t accurate. You do not have access to the website as they lead you to believe. You can fill in all the survey about yourself and then you dead end. I want to warn others who might want to try the “free weekend”. All paths on the website lead to a subscription application. I would be very wary of joining a service which does a subscription drive under the pretext of a free weekend. My advice to anyone who is interested,keep your money in your pocket and try plentyoffish or some other free site. You can have just as much fun! Linda
As with Artistic above, I agree, Linda, that they should show their potential registrants a clear explanation up front of what is free and what isn’t during free weekends. It saves everyone time.
#28 Norma of Kingman, AZ July 4, 2010
EHarmony is a big rip…..are these people real? I have not received any answers back and no response from any other consumer. They sent me many from way way out of state, boy am I not interested in joining this group. I am glad I didnt send in any money. Just aggravated with this spoof of a dating site
Correct, Norma, be grateful that you found that the service wasn’t for you before you gave them your money.
Categories: EHB, on your side
I am very displeased with eharmony. I have not received any new matches for a week. You never send me any matches that are even near where I live. I am going to cancel my plan with eharmony and want a refund if I don’t begin to receive better service for what I am paying for. Please contact me ASASP
by Jeannie Hickey on Aug 23, 2010 at 7:12 am
Jeannie, the refund period is only three days. After that it is an as-is, no-guarantees, no-refunds service. This is all in the Terms of Service. If you need help with your account, the best solution for you is to call their customer service. To get more matches, read this article.
by eharmonyblog on Aug 24, 2010 at 8:15 pm
help this site is diffucult to use can’t fill out profile 1 question I fill in but others below cant get to no scroll bar to get to questions paying but cant use Help no email for assistance
by Anonymous on Oct 2, 2010 at 3:45 pm
#3, use a different Internet browser like Mozilla Firefox http://www.getfirefox.net/ , or upgrade your Internet Explorer 6 to the latest version http://www.microsoft.com/windows/internet-explorer/default.aspx .
by eharmonyblog on Oct 2, 2010 at 4:03 pm
I agree eharmony is a total scam. They offer up a free weekend you fill out all the hundres of questions go thru all the questionaires with your potentiol suitors only to find you cannot communicate with them in the end. TOTAL SCAM you have to pay and for 3 months in order to converse with anyone. So all of the people you starting communicating with via questionares all think you now have no interest and you have NO WAY to find out who they are or another way to comunicate. FALSE ADVERTISEMENT FOR SURE…a total let down and a waste of time.
by Allie on Oct 10, 2010 at 11:59 am
I forgot my password and I can’t seem to get it so I can CANCEL my subscription. I am unhappy with eHarmony because the only responses I received were from men far away. I am not planning on corresponding with someone out of a 50 to 100 mile range because I am NOT going to drive to meet them and I have NO intention of moving. The service told me I have limited myself to a small area.
As I have said, I want to cancel my subscription and it has been the biggest ordeal to do it.
FED UP WITH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
by Sharon on Jan 1, 2011 at 6:35 am
I feel soooo ripped off. I joined for a whole year! How dumb of me! Since then I have recieved 33 matches, most 10 years older that me, and in the states. I live in Canada. Not one person has reponded to any of my messages!
by Lori on Mar 1, 2011 at 4:54 pm