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When should I ask for the phone number?

Hello. In the past when I’ve used eharmony, the women gave their phone numbers in the first or second message during open communication, and things accelerated at a normal pace.

Now, however, I’m in open communication with two women, and the emailing is lackluster to say the least. In the past four days I’ve written two messages and received two. It’s a two edged sword. I don’t want to frighten anyone by asking for a phone number if they’re not comfortable yet, and at the same time I don’t want to appear weak by waiting interminably to get her digits.

Online dating presents a different challenge to meeting someone in real life, where comfort can immediately be established. I’m not sure what’s protocol, and if it’s okay to ask after a few emails.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Grazie!

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Comments 2

  1. Ralph wrote:

    Greetings from Illinois:

    Keep in mind this is just my opinion, other folks might tell you something else….lol!

    From reading your message you said the conversation between your messages in Open Communication is lackluster, perhaps YOU are not interested in your matches or your MATCHES may not be interested in you, and perhaps by giving your phone number alone might even cause them to run away (or close you out).

    From MY experience here on EH, it’s a gradual process to meet someone in person (you reach Open Communication or now it’s called “eharmony mail”, then you exchange e-mail addresses & perhaps IM your matches, then you talk to them over the phone and then meet in person), sometimes it operates out of order (someone might give you their phone number once they reach Open Communication), so my advice to you is perhaps to offer YOUR e-mail address to your matches and perhaps put a comment saying that if you use Yahoo or MSN messenger that you can contact me there. See what happens from there and if things get a little bit better, perhaps suggest about exchanging phone numbers.

    There are no set guidelines about online dating, you have to do what is comfortable with you and your matches, and at least if you give up your e-mail address you are offering them the opportunity to communicate outside of EH.

    Of course if you have any other questions feel free to ask!

    Have a great day,
    Ralph

    Posted 30 Jun 2010 at 3:37 pm
  2. SingleGuyInNC wrote:

    I ask to meet in person after a message or two in OC.

    If they don’t respond to meeting in person:
    1) they aren’t serious
    2) they aren’t really interested in you

    Next.

    Posted 23 Jul 2010 at 12:21 pm

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