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“When in a relationship, how much personal space do you generally find you need?”

By leaps and bounds, this is the most popular question from all my matches. I get this question at least twice a day. I’ve begun to think that people in relationships in my neck of the woods are yelling and arguing about personal space all the time. That, or that the questionnaire has determined that the best person for me is someone who is bothered by this issue. I don’t know what’s the bloody big deal!

The choices for this canned 1st question are:

A: I don’t have a great need for “personal space”. I like lots of together time.
B: I find my time spent working is enough personal time, the rest I like to spend with my partner.
C: As long as I can get one night a week to myself, my personal space needs are met.
D: When I’m with my partner I’m completely there, but I do need considerable time for personal reflection.

On the other hand, in eHarmony Blog’s twelve-week existence, no one has ever looked this question up with us. Our popular questions are “If I had a bad day…?” and “Tonight you can do anything you want…?” This one: Zero hits. What gives?!

This is my answer and it always works:

I hardly need personal space

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    Comments 7

    1. Shar wrote:

      I always answer that with something along the lines of “I’m very flexible. It depends on both of our schedules , prior commitments and preferences”.

      Posted 11 Jul 2008 at 6:44 am
    2. Jess wrote:

      I don’t use this as one of my canned questions but I get asked it a fair amount. I understand it because I have been in relationships where I feel smothered (and I am a woman) so if I DID ask it and someone replied with “A” I might reconsider continuing communication.

      Posted 16 Feb 2009 at 10:46 pm
    3. LavenderLover wrote:

      I ALWAYS ask that question. Why? Well I have had my fair share of guys without a life that need to be with me ALL the time. They call at least 3-4 times a day, refuse to go out with my friends or for me to go out with them, he always just wants to spend time with me alone.
      Sorry, but if you are that needy, it ain’t going to work.

      My answer: “Between C and D but as the relationship progresses, I would lean towards B”. :)

      Posted 19 Feb 2009 at 4:45 pm
    4. Carrie wrote:

      I always assume they’re asking to see if I’M the needy one! LOL I usually say something like, “When you’re single you have lots of personal space. The togetherness time will work itself out as the relationship progresses.”

      Posted 06 Oct 2009 at 3:41 pm
    5. Patricia wrote:

      I always receive this question and I have a hard time answering it. As Carrie said, I feel as though they are trying to find out if I am needy and truth is it really depends on the person and how much I enjoy being around then. I really dont like this question but with every match I have received this question.

      Posted 20 Nov 2009 at 10:01 pm
    6. Tiffany wrote:

      I too assume this question is gonna gauge my neediness to be all up in and around them if we happen to start dating, so I answer it frankly. I am one of those people who enjoy spending time with my S.O. but also like time with my family, the girls and alone. I just make sure to remain sweet and let them know I like together time, as much down time :)

      Posted 20 Nov 2009 at 11:03 pm
    7. Erin wrote:

      im looking for love in a male

      Posted 23 Feb 2011 at 3:28 pm

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