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1000 things I learned from eHarmony

1. To have a funny profile, all you have to do is pick “Using humor to make friends laugh” from the choices.
2. #1 what people really can’t live without: GUNS
3. To tell a company to stop charging your card, you have to look for and click “Cancel my subscription”.
4. The best Most Influential Person In My Life is “My ex-wife”.
5. The best time to go to eHarmony and create an account is One week after a breakup.
6. The best time to join eHarmony and start dating is two days after a divorce.
7. Every woman is 29 years old.
8. The question on Most Passionate About is never literal. It’s okay to put “Climbing the Kilimanjaro” when you’re afraid of heights.

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Comments 5

  1. anonymous wrote:

    9. “Like you, _____ says her approach to food: Depends on her mood.”

    Finally, someone who does not eat the exact same thing for every meal. I think it’s love at first sight =)

    Posted 06 Apr 2010 at 5:57 am
  2. Anonymous wrote:

    10. How to have fun in eHarmony: When closing a match, check all the reason checkboxes then hit send. Bwahahaha!

    Posted 06 Apr 2010 at 8:47 pm
  3. john wrote:

    #11 ‘Recent’ when it comes to pictures is relative. All ‘recent’ photos are recent, even if they are from 20 years ago, in a wedding dress with the now defunct x is blocked out.

    Posted 12 Apr 2010 at 10:20 am
  4. eHarmingMe wrote:

    It is not a good thing for one of your matches to be a newly single male who, after an 18-year “committed relationship” (no mention of a marriage … commitment phobic, perhaps?), recently and suddenly “lost” his partner. What? Did you check the really big bin in the mall’s security office? Did she die? More importantly, did you kill her (when she mentioned marriage)? What’s worse is that he spends several paragraphs talking about his loss and how she was his soul mate. This is only a sample of what eHarmony uses to bait me into extending my membership. Not.

    Posted 12 Apr 2010 at 1:52 pm
  5. john wrote:

    #12 Ultimately, all questions can be answered by a simple response, if support to be believed. Just extend your membership.

    Posted 13 Apr 2010 at 6:55 am

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