eHarmony Blog.com

We’re starting the New Year 2010 by compiling the list of ways to request and receive a full refund from eHarmony. It’s full of tactics and tricks, so don’t tell eHarmony you read them here.

We’d love to hear how you did with our tips. There’s a survey to answer at the end of this article.

In a Nutshell

Whether you get your money back depends on two things:

1. Have 3 days passed since the payment went through?
2. Have you used it at all, even once, since the payment went through?

eHarmony’s system displays these two things right away to the rep, so be careful with denying either of them. If you answer No to both, then you can expect a refund — so be firm and ask for it. Otherwise, there’s a section below that explains your alternatives.

Why does eHarmony give only 3 days to cancel? Because that’s all they have to. California Civil Code 1694.1 is the law.

You have to call. Sorry, overseas readers, eHarmony’s age-long policy won’t do refunds over email. Yes, that really sucks.

The phone number

The phone number to call (and alternative numbers) is in this article.

The cancellation deadline

If you paid three days ago, you need to read how the site defines the cancellation period US CA AU UK CP and know for sure when your cancellation deadline is. For eHarmony US, it is 11:59pm Pacific time. If you paid three days ago, it’s best to know your rights, in case you chance upon a clueless rep.

UPDATE: Does the three-day cancellation apply to extensions or renewals?

Yes. If the rep tells you that the policy applies only to the initial subscription, the rep is wrong, for two reasons:

1. Their terms say, “For Singles Services, the day that you submit a completed subscription form will be the date of this Agreement.”
2. The California law provides you three days after signing ANY agreement or ANY offer for dating services.

Don’t get sidetracked by an mistrained rep.

What to expect? A lot of convincing

According to a former CS rep.:

“In case you wonder why the reps try so hard to convince you to stay, unless you’re a success story, it’s because their retention rate is part of their performance rating. Reps are expected to retain at least 50% of the customers who contact them for a refund, to close their account or turn off their auto renew feature. Some, not all, of the calls are recorded and the rep is also graded on how many scoring points they hit in the call (greeting, offer to help, empathy, suggestions, etc.) and there are points for following a specific path for refunds. They can’t just skip to, ‘OK, sorry it didn’t work, here’s your money back.’ They have to make certain offers and once they’re refused, if you’re eligible for a refund, you’ll get it. All of this is tied to job performance. So, when you call for a refund on an automatic renewal, the rep has to first deny the refund, then work from there, but if they don’t deny first, they lose 15% on their performance score for that call. They do NOT have scripts, but they do have certain points they have to include in each call.”

Subscriptions: How to get refunds within 3 days of purchase

If you call within 3 days of your payment, the rep is mandated to offer you three to four alternatives to save the sale. He would offer to extend the “cancellation period” or “trial period”. He would offer as much as three additional free months. Say no to these offers and he will process your full refund.

Auto Renewals: How to get refunds

Here, it is IMPORTANT that after the renewal you do not use your account to communicate or reply to anyone.

Readers reported that reps can see on their system when you last logged in, when you turned off autorenew, when you last received a match, and when you last communicated to any match. Don’t make up stories and get into a argument.

If all you do is go into your account, turn off Auto-Renew, then call, then you can request eHarmony a courtesy refund. Courtesy means that you’re not entitled to a refund and you were supposed to be aware that eHarmony will renew your subscription automatically. Courtesy also means that the rep may not give it next time it happens again.

• Tip #1. If the rep offers the 50% refund, refuse it, especially if you have turned off matching and have never signed in for a long time. This is actually common with six- and twelve- month memberships.
• Tip #2. If eHarmony had already charged you several renewals before you called, then at the beginning of your conversation, before you mention refunds, ask the rep when you last logged in. Ask the refund of all renewals past that date.

Premium Services: How to get refunds

Premium Personality Profile: How to get a full refund: Do not, and I say, do not, finish the PPP questionnaire or view your Premium Personality Profile. Call instead and ask for a full refund and you should get it.

• TIP: If you’re stuck, tell the rep that you thought that the PPP will improve the accuracy of matching.

RelyID: How to get a full refund: Do not, and I say, do not, verify your name and city. Call instead and ask for a full refund and you should get it.

• TIP: If you’re stuck, tell the rep that you thought that the RelyID-verified members can be matched only with fellow RelyID-verified members.

Secure Call: How to get a full refund: The rep can review and see your call use history and log, so do not ever use or attempt to use the service. Call instead and ask for a full refund and you should get it.

• TIP: If you’re stuck, tell the rep that you thought that Secure Call doesn’t count towards your phone’s airtime minutes.

Secure Call Renewals: How to get a full refund: Here, do not use the service or attempt to call a match after the renewal date. If all you do is turn off autorenew and then call, the rep should be able to give you a full refund of the renewal.

Profile Advisor: How to get a full refund: The first step in this service is receiving an email from the profile writer with clarificatory questions to let him or her rewrite your profile. Do not respond that email. Call instead and ask for a refund.

How to get a refund past three days of purchase

In this case, you need to persuade them with one of three things:

• that they cannot provide you the service,
• that the account was invalid to begin with, or
• that you cannot avail of the service

The site’s terms and conditions — which any court will tell you that you should have read — say that you had three days to cancel. The best strategy is to begin the conversation with your situation and circumstances, then ask for your refund. Not the defensive, other way around. Obviously you can only have ONE set of circumstances; You cannot change gears in the middle of the call.

What might work:

1. You never used it — “I forgot my password and requested it three times but I never got any response.”
2. A member used your credit card without your permission.
3. Someone signed you up without your permission.
4. Your 16-year-old son signed you up.
5. You’re actually married.
6. You’re actually 17.
7. You lost your job or are in dire financial shape.
8. You lost your limbs in an accident last weekend.
9. A earthquake / hurricane / fire / flood / tornado / typhoon hit you.
10. You’re gay, and you registered on the wrong site.
11. Your sister calls to tell them you are gravely hospitalized… or dead.
12. (For RelyID) You’re actually living outside the States.

In all of these, the rep cannot disprove what you said.

What won’t work:

1. You’re receiving no matches or not enough matches.
2. You don’t like your matches.
3. It’s your third scammer this month.
4. Your matches don’t fit your preferences: too short, tall, heavyset, unattractive, low income.
5. Your matches aren’t responding.

If you are polite and respectful, the rep should be giving you a full refund (You’re 17, or dead), or be offering you a compromise, such as shorter plan and a partial refund. It depends on the rep. According to member postings, complaining about the service won’t help you get your refund.

If the tactic doesn’t work:

If the rep refuses your refund, you need to drop the call and get “accidentally” disconnected, so that the rep doesn’t note in your account that you are seeking a refund. Then use the following strategy:

HARASS YOUR MATCHES. Yes, that’s right. Write offensive language on your messages to your matches. “You love ‘all-you-can-eat’ buffets, don’t you?” “Tell me that really isn’t your face.” “I wonder how your dik would taste like.” “Just reading your profile made me wet and hor-ny.” In a short time, eHarmony will act on complaints and kick you out and give you a full refund.

Yes it’s that simple and you’ve got nothing to lose.

Past three days of auto renewal: “Success Story” refunds and “Unable to Match” refunds

This last case is actually very common, because people only discover the renewal charge many weeks later when they receive their credit card statement.

In this case, you need to persuade them that you’ve quit long ago. Again it is IMPORTANT that after the renewal date you do not use your account to communicate or reply to anyone. If you have turned off matching before the autorenewal fired, be sure to remind the rep.

ALTERNATE TACTIC: Begin the call saying that you met somebody wonderful through the service and express your gratitude, then basking in happiness, ask your refund.

If the tactic doesn’t work:

Hang-up or get “accidentally” disconnected, and then call them again to request to retake the questionnaire. If it has been six months since you took it, the rep will immediately allow you to do it. Otherwise, the rep needs convincing.

RETAKE THE QUESTIONNAIRE and FAIL IT. Check “Very Dominant” on one page and “Very Passive” on another. Check “Very Depressed” and “Very Unhappy”. Check “Very Unable to Resolve Conflicts” and “Gets Mad Very Easily”. After you fail the questionnaire, call eHarmony again and ask for a refund.

When you and eHarmony cannot come to a resolution

The Fair Credit Billing Act

If you:

• live in California (because eHarmony is in California),
• paid via credit or charge card,
• paid more than $50 and
• have made a good faith effort to resolve the matter with eHarmony,

you can contact your bank and file a credit card dispute under the Federal Fair Credit Billing Act. This involves writing a letter to your bank. For details, read this Federal Trade Commission Advisory.

Other Consumer Laws

If you live in other states or provinces or countries, inform yourself of your consumer rights by contacting your local authorities. Directory of State Consumer Protection Offices. Directory of Provincial Consumer Affairs Offices in Canada. Worldwide Consumer Affairs Offices.

Okay, a sample

“Hi Ms. eHarmony Rep. I’m just calling to tell you guys that the recent snowstorm made me lose my job and all my life savings, but the good news is that I met an awesome boyfriend through eHarmony! Kevin is so kind to me and I think that he’s the one!! So not only can’t I afford eHarmony now, I no longer need the service! Can I get my $240 back? I appreciate it.”

Top tips

1. Complaining about the service seldom helps. They can always fall back to telling you the service is as-is and not guaranteed.
2. The best strategy is to begin the conversation with your situation and circumstances, then ask for your refund. Not the defensive, other way around.
3. Be polite, friendly and patient. Say, “go ahead, and I will wait.”
4. Reps are told to resolve all calls in one call. They don’t want you to call again.
5. Reps leave permanent notes on your account after each phone call. If you think notes of your current phone call will give you trouble in the future, you must “accidentally” disconnect the call.
6. Dawdle on the 50% refund. You’re halfway there, so stay polite and ask for a full refund.

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