eHarmony Blog.comLet’s explore and discuss that oft-spoken event experienced by couples who met and found love via online dating — their first phone call
Loading ...Tell us about your memorable first phone calls…
(Want more polls? Check out our Polls category.)
29 Dimensions of an Online Romance Scam? 27 seconds ago
EHB, on your side — October 2010 issue 52 seconds ago
Poll 32: The first phone call 54 seconds agoMissing an option here, eHB:
“What phone call? I generally go straight from OC to meeting in person.”
Looks like you got that covered in the time between when I reloaded the page and posted the comment. 
I’ve had short calls and long ones. No matter how good and enthusiastic you are, I always feel like it is just really awkward.
I can only recall one match where we talked on the phone for a few times and based on that, they decided not to pursue things further. I’ve talked to a few matches for extended periods of time (~2 hours or so) that were long distance but those were basically doomed from the get-go.
That disappointment set the precedent for me to go straight to the in person meeting via OC/e-mail or keep the first call really short, just to talk for a bit and set a date (usually with the ones that aren’t so good with e-mail, i.e. really short replies). My matches now are almost all within 30 minutes of driving. If they want to keep chit-chatting and don’t want to meet in person, then they aren’t serious and I feel like it is a waste of my time but I haven’t had one run that course. They either close before that or it goes to a meeting. I can indeed understand many/long phone calls for longer distance matches but we all know how well that “game” works. You had better be buying a plane ticket sometime soon if you want it to go anywhere.
Normal 1st phone call would be 10-20 mins max. It should be for small chit-chat and to arrange a face to face meeting.. otherwise it’s pointless. I’m a grown woman and I don’t have time to baby sit a phone call no matter how much of a spark we have. If we stay on the phone for an half hr or more, we’re talking about all the stuff we could save for the 1st date, if we mutually show interest after talking over the phone. After all that drug out damn EH communication, after a coulple short convos, If I’m into the guy, I want to meet him for dinner, or a drink. Something face to face.
What this poll is really, actually asking is how far away one’s matches typically are.
Other than living or commuting conditions — for example, a single dad who has to stay home, or a couple who take transit — I see no reason why two adults living less than an hour away will spend an hour chit-chatting on the phone.
Living two hours away, yes, extended initial phone calls may happen before the first meeting.
I really have not had any, connections worth anything to me it’s really awaste of time and money.., by the way,, were in a recession.. ok..
I am so fed up with eharmony. It’s been about 3 weeks since I joined. I get hardly any matches and those I go get are old men…I am 46 and a young 46 at that…and my matches are usually 51 up to 58…and look like they are waiting for death. There is no way to contact eharmony to complain and ask what to do (at least this newby cannot find any way). They just want the money and run. All I get now are flexible matches too…I guess I’m a hard case LOL. I am attractive and work in a hospital office environment. I’m not looking for a cab driver or a construction worker…I’m looking for somoene who has something in common. Sorry just venting.
Wait until you get older. With all due respect I do not consider men in their fifties old. However, I will say this they probably most of them want younger women. As for their jobs, I do not see anything wrong with cab driver, or construction workers, sales reps, wait person. There were few if any of them on eHarmony when I was aboard. Men in their fifties are fine to me and I am in my early sixites. I doubt they are waiting for death. This is the problem with eHarmony just match up compatibility wise does not mean you have similar interests and chemistry. And this is where their system break down.
I went thru all of the steps….at some point he initiated the offline email process which led to the infamous phone call. The call lasted about 1 1/2 hours…easy flowing well balance dialogue on a Friday. He ended the call “I thought warmly” wishing me a good weekend, asked if he could call me again, invited me to call him any time. Here it is a week later …and I haven’t heard a word. After day 3 I called him and left a nice voice message …nothing negative etc., a day or 2 after that dropped a couple of line email…”hey are you ok..haven’t heard from you” still no reply.
I guess my issue is I didn’t see this comming. Honestly had a good feeling about him. I didn’t know if it would be a “love connection, but I definitely thought the early stages of a cool friendship was brewing.
Boy was I wrong!
I think for the initial phone call that 30 minutes is spot on. You feel out how the chemistry is, you touch base and set up a second, longer call. You don’t want to linger too long and seem needy; that’s what I think.
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