‘Drinking’ preferences are nearly worthless

There is a glaring problem in the choices for drinking frequency.

NEVER is a useful first choice, and FEW TIMES A YEAR is fine for the next step. The jump from there to WEEKLY, however, is preposterous because of the lack of any middle ground. What’s wrong with MONTHLY?!? Okay, FEW TIMES A WEEK makes sense as next entry, but all sense flew out the window when the final choice is MANY TIMES A DAY. In all honesty, is someone who’s fallen off the wagon going to click on that?!? No! I feel as if we are owed an explanation by whoever designed these categories, since they are utterly inadequate.

Do you like this article? Post a comment on Facebook

What others are reading right now

eHarmony Promotional Codes 42 seconds ago
Bullshit alert: Harris Interactive won’t back eHarmony’s 236-a-day success claim 1 minute, 9 seconds ago
TrekkieHarmony – Now it’s FREE to receive and review your intergalactic matches! 1 minute, 26 seconds ago
“Your idea of adventure is:” 1 minute, 36 seconds ago
“What makes eHarmony different from other dating sites?” 1 minute, 38 seconds ago

Comments 9

Tiffany wrote:
Not only do I agree, that the questions choices are inadequate, they are irrelevant!!!!! Why should you know from the very beginning whether your match drinks alcohol or not?! It’s no ones buisiness whether or not I do, yet as soon as they click my profile they will know I do! That is really unnecessary. I would rather have it as an option as a question to ask someone, if it is really an important issue…but not included in your profile as an effect to the 1st impression!
Posted 14 Nov 2009 at 10:38 am ¶
Scottk wrote:
Tiffany,
Wow, you are rolling tonight.

Really?

You don’t see why people might want to know your drinking habits from the get go?

There are a LOT of people who are against drinking for a number of reasons…

Perhaps they are a recovering alcoholic or have a family member who is?

Perhaps they are in a religion that forbids drinking?

Why would either of these cases even want to start communication with someone who drinks daily? It serves them no purpose, as its a dealbreaker from the get go.

On the other side of the coin, would a person who enjoys having a brew each night really want to be matched with someone who is against drinking?

Do you really think that relationship would really work out?

Will alcoholics lie and say they don’t drink that much? Sure.

But there is always a risk that someone will lie about ANYTHING in their Profile.

I am curious, in your previous post, you demand a guy be MUCH taller than you.

Yet, your argument there could be applied here.

What business is it of yours how tall someone is?

Surely in the grand scheme of true love, height is a meaningless statistic, right?
So I would argue that height should not be posted on the Profile either.

Would you agree to that?

So yes, there are a few things in the basic Profile that should be posted right up front, because EHarmony has found that they generally are the “biggest” dealbreakers that simply are not negotiable for the majority of their Matches.
Alcohol, Smoking, and yes, Height, are among them.

On a side note, notice there is no Weight or Body Type setting?

This is a nod to the fact that EHarmony generally is considered a more favorable site for women.

If EHarmony truly wanted to be equal to both sexes, they should require a Body Type/Weight setting that must be set, just as they do for Height.
Posted 14 Nov 2009 at 6:04 pm ¶
SingleGuyInNC wrote:
ScottK: my sentiments exactly. Alcohol consumption and smoking are fairly significant lifestyle compatibility issues that should be considered up front.

As for the preferences, it is a significant criteria for me and and I use it to select matches and don’t have a problem with the delineations that they use.

Would you prefer that they just put a field in there for exactly how many drinks you take in a given time period instead of using a category? Maybe a little too much information. I think that just about everyone can pick a category and make it work/reflect roughly what their consumption level is.
Posted 14 Nov 2009 at 10:47 pm ¶
Tiffany wrote:
@ Scottk
I’m always on a roll.
I see exactly why people would want to know someone’s drinking habits from the beginning, but as I said, it would be much more appropriate as a choice of questions to ask, that you can pick from on the first go rounds of questions.
Yes, I realize there are a LOT of people who are against drinking for a number of reasons, but I think the only info that needs to accompany a photo would be
Name, location, age, ethnicity, occupation and height. The smoking and drinking can be found out in the beginning with those questions as options. If the person is really adamant about those things, they would start off with that, but not everyone is as concerned with them as maybe others.
Yes, I like my men tall. And? It’s not my business from the beginning I guess, but if that was not made available it would be one of the first questions I asked the guy. Height is important to me, so I’d inquire, just as if someone drinks or smokes is a dealbreaker or important to another… they could do the same thing! Ask at the beginning! Okay, if the man of my dreams and the one for me happened to be 5’8 (shaking my head sadly, I would undoubtedly just accept it) though I prefer 6ft 6’2 
And you completely showed how men think with this statement
“If EHarmony truly wanted to be equal to both sexes, they should require a Body Type/Weight setting that must be set, just as they do for Height”. So are you saying men are only interested in body type/weight? And women more interested in height?
Posted 16 Nov 2009 at 5:25 pm ¶
Elizabeth R wrote:
Sorry I’m for the opposite of what Tiffany wants. I want more filtering. For example, mix the Must Have/Can’t Stands into the matching criteria themselves.

It saves me from wasting time asking and having to close someone for “Other”. Apart from drinking, the my deal-breakers include smoking, gambling and recreational drugs. These are my preferences and they are important to me. I think a quick, well-written additional screen in their questionnaire is all it takes.
Posted 17 Nov 2009 at 3:32 pm ¶
Tom wrote:
I fully agree with Elizabeth R.
Posted 17 Nov 2009 at 4:16 pm ¶
Tiffany wrote:
@Elizabeth R. clearly there are a lot of cons to EH. There commercials and advertising make it seem that it’s a great dating site… yet there are many problems they need to tweak and fix or get rid of all together. I meet new guys while out and about every day, but I turned to EH in hopes they would offer more compatible quality matches with the whole 29 demensions thing, and so far the little problems, site layout and overall issues that need to be fixed have over shadowed the actual matches I get and makes the process more difficult
Posted 17 Nov 2009 at 5:28 pm ¶
Scottk wrote:
Tiffany,

Yes, most Men are as concerned with Weight/Body Type as much as Women are with Height, especially online.

Well, perhaps not as much as you, as you appear to be VERY fixated on Height, but its up there, no pun intended.

As to the drinking stuff…

No, the Drinking/Smoking should NOT be part of the first questions.

Why should I have to waste a couple first questions to find out if my Match is a boozer or a smoker?

These are things that are the biggest dealbreakers for most people, and thus, should be there when the Match is delivered.
Posted 17 Nov 2009 at 5:59 pm ¶
SingleGuyInNC wrote:
Tiffany,

Read NCW’s books. Take the 29 dimensions and apply it to your non-online dating. No eHarmony membership required.

Once you read the books and know yourself well, you should be able to figure out how compatible you are with someone on a deeper level who is willing/open/honest in fairly short order. I’m guessing though, that most guys aren’t interested in being that open, given it seems the stereotype is most don’t reach that level of openness after years of marriage.
Posted 19 Nov 2009 at 12:47 pm ¶

eHarmony Blog.com

Start a new discussion »