EHB, on your side — November 2009 issue

eHarmony Blog is on your side. If you have a complaint with eHarmony and you have trouble getting through customer service, let us know. Don’t forget to give your eHarmony account email address and don’t forget to give us permission to chase eHarmony on your behalf.

Here is last month’s supply of consumer complaints against eHarmony posted on the leading gripe website ConsumerAffairs.com, plus our comments. Some of this month’s complaints are valid and justified, thus highlighted, while the rest are “buyer beware — read the fine print” or may be resolved with a call to customer service.

No, we are not eHarmony, we just like to help out or comment. If you have an opinion as well, post them at the end of the article.

#1. Sheila of Newport, TN October 30, 2009

My credit card company told me to print out my e-mail from e-harmony stating they had disabled the auto renewal from my acct. I tried to print out this e-mail. You cannot. I tried many times and everytime Internet Explorer stated this webpage cannot be displayed. I called e-harmony about this and was told their technical dept. would sent me an e-mail to fix the problem. No e-mail. I believe e-harmony has totally disabled the ability to print out their e-mails. I can print out any other e-mails that I want to but not e-harmony. Just something else to deal with if you are foolish enough to subscribe to their nonsense. So, please save any e-mails you may have in a separate folder should you need them in the future. I guess you would need to forward them if necessary. You cannot print them. Hopefully when my three months are over in Dec. I will never have to deal with this company again.

Sheila, eHarmony is an online dating website. It has nothing to do with your e-mail program. If your email program eats emails, eHarmony has nothing to do with it.

#2. Mark of Tallahassee, FL October 30, 2009

I cancelled my membership with e harmony as I was out of work. After 6 months I found a job in another city and relocated. My former internet provider didn’t have service and I went to a new carrier. For over a year e harmony took money out of my checking account sent notices to a disconnected email account and kept my account active. I had a bounced check, learned of the error and put a permanent stop on their transactions. I called customer service, and explained the situation. I asked that the company either refund the money or give me a free membership for the months they were sending notices to a dead e mail account. They admit they got emails bounced back and still took my money! So far no word from e harmony.

Mark, you did not say whether you read and understood that eHarmony will renew your subscription automatically unless you truly cancel your account. Did you cancel or just turn off matching? Next time, remember that it is your responsibility to update your records with the companies you deal with.

#3. annelis of carlstadt, NJ October 28, 2009

eharmony forwarded a bill for a service I never received to a company called BillMeLater for 140.88 Now I am receiving all kind of calls to pay them for a service I never received. I have spend over tree hours on the phone to clear it up, and I still get harrased. Be careful out there

What is the service you never received? This seems to be an issue with BillMeLater and not with eHarmony.

#3. Sheila of Newport, TN October 21, 2009

When e-harmony had a free weekend, I signed up. Did not pay any subscription at that time. I received lots of matches. Most all in another state or too far away within my state. I foolishly signed up for 3 months at almost 45.00 per month. After they got my money, the matches decreased dramatically. I sent several e-mails asking to be let out of the three months but I did agree that they could keep the first month’s payment. No dice. They said I agreed that there would be no refunds. Honestly, I do not recall doing that.

Their refund policy is arbitrary and unfair. They are money hungry and seem to have the upper hand in this situation. I have since sent several e-mails telling them since they have been paid, they should keep up their end of the bargain. No reply. No matches.

E-harmony should go by the way of the dinosaurs and just become extinct. They are one of the worst to deal with when dissatisfied and they have an excuse for everything. Greed would be the exact way to describe their policies. I am out 135.00 for absolutely nothing in return. They have no right to keep all my money even when I agreed they could have the one month payment and we could just forget about it.

Sheila, didn’t you see the “I agree with the eHarmony Terms of Service” right above the continue button? It is a “3-days-to-cancel no-guarantees as-is” product. Next time you buy something read the terms and conditions. Not everyone will give you a free pass and let you break a payment contract with them.

#4. Patricia of Pittsburgh, PA October 19, 2009

They mislead customers. I met my future husband on eharmony and wanted to end my account. they charged my debit card without any communication a renewal. So much for caring about customers. Isn’t there anything anyone can do to stop Big Guys from hurting us.

Patricia, congratulations for meeting your fiancee on eHarmony. The “we will automatically renew your subscription on X date” notice appears 3 to 4 times throughout the site. What is misleading about it?

Nonetheless, if you call them, they may be able to consider it and give you a partial refund. Half of the companies I know send “we will automatically renew you on X date” notices, but indeed they really don’t have to.

#5. brenda of green spring, WV October 19, 2009

I agree with the others, there is no satisfaction with their service. I gave the miles, I get hundreds of miles away, older men. I ask for a refund of my balance no response of course. I thought this was a safe and reputable site…..wrong.

Brenda, do you read the refund policy before you buy anything? In department stores, it’s at the back of the receipt. In a website, it’s somewhere in the terms and conditions. In your Green Spring, what happens when you buy a ‘no-refund as-is’ product and you ask for a refund?

#6. Ania of Glendale, CA October 16, 2009

I have asked for my money back and no results. I have told that how unsatisfied I am with their service and how they send “recycled” and “closed matches to people who sign up making paid members think that they have a great pool of candidates. eharmony doesn’t delete profiles and reuses them over and over to send to people who are new to the site. These closed, inactive, and unpaid members’ profiles are used over and over with no results. eharmony takes your money and that’s it. Their matching system sucks and they don’t provide the service they claim they will and when you write to them to cancel your subscription, there is no response.

Ania, eHarmony only matches those people who asked to receive matches. These people told eHarmony that they want to receive matches and they have never told eHarmony to stop. eHarmony is only following their instructions, though it is disgusting that they indeed still match members past their shelf life.

Nontheless, if you read the terms, you would have known that it is a “3-days-to-cancel no-guarantees as-is” product.

#7. Janet of Kenosha, WI October 12, 2009

I joined eharmony under the free weekend after putting my credit card information for a three month subscription. The policy states that unless you turn off the auto-renewal you will be automatically rebilled at the end of your period. The instructions are explicit as to My settings and account settings to find the auto renewal cancellation. There is no such feature anywhere on my account. I do not want this to auto-renew and I am convinced the only way to stop it is to cancel my credit card. I have had no response from their 800 number when I have called.

Janet, did someone pick up the phone at all? What number did you call? Most people would have had this sorted out once they speak to a rep.

#8. Lorraine of Chandler, AZ October 11, 2009

What a joke this site is. Very expensive, lure people with a long form, then after a “free weekend” in which you are sent many matches, very few after. The criteria I specified was ignored, and that was justified by some designation of “flexible matches.” I went out with one person, who told me something he had done that was abhorrant (also something he could go to jail for for a LONG time, I had to talk to someone in a confidential capacity to ask what I should do with what he said, and I was told to drop it, and ignore any communication from him) He also brought up very inappropriate sex talk.

I asked for a refund and for me to be removed from the site…my refund was denied, and now although I’ve paid through December, I think I may have had one match since then. no photo (though I’ve requested matches with photos.) This is a total ripoff. I am on a couple of other sites, and nothing like this has happened. one is a free Christian dating site, the other I paid for. My money down the drain and my refund of the time left (which was 2 months at the time) denied.

Lorraine, we’re sorry that we met this weirdo, but I doubt there is anything that eHarmony can do to check the background of the people it introduces you, especially when they don’t charge hundreds of dollars per match. That is how expensive background checks are.

There is also no option to request only matches with photos. Where did you put your request? On the essays? No, the site’s computers do not read or understand essays. It’s run by a computer.

As I asked Brenda earlier, Lorraine, do you read the refund policy before you buy anything? In department stores, it’s at the back of the receipt. In a website, it’s somewhere in the terms and conditions. In Chandler, what happens when you buy a ‘no-refund as-is’ product and you ask for a refund?

#9. B. of Denver, CO October 10, 2009

I signed up for one month of serviice. I had no desire to renew. They took it upon themselves to renew with no authorization from me; even after I had closed my profile and notified them I did not want there sevice anymore and the acount closed. Then not only did they debit my account for the renewal fee but also, days later took another amount for secure calling. Their practices are at the least unethical, if not down right illegal.

B, the “we will automatically renew your subscription” notice and the instructions to turn it off appear no less than 4 times during the payment process. It is incredible that you missed it.

Nonetheless, if you call the company, they may be able to sort this out and give you a partial refund.

#10. Susan of Eugene , OR October 9, 2009

I signed up for 3 months and get no results. I am very unhappy with their services! I can not get their phone number any where so I could call them as I am mad! I need this to be taken off my credit card now!

Yes, Susan, eHarmony try their very best never to publish their toll free number. Their phone number can be found on this article.

#11. judy of dallas, TX October 8, 2009

i’v come to the conclusion that eharmony has no such ’29 dimensions of compatiability’!! i feel the company has become a ‘scam’. over the past 3 wks i had numerous issues with their customer svc team and they certainly have no professional supervisors capable of resolving any issues!!! u can email & call repeately AND THEY WILL NOT RESPOND. UNDERSTAND THE ORIGINAL OWNER NEAL WARREN HAS LEFT THE COMPANY. I’M DONE!! CANCELLING!!

Judy, if Customer Support is unable to help you to your satisfaction, you may “escalate” your concern to customerrelations@eharmony.com. The head of the Singles Product is Mr. Bob Holden and his email is bobholden@eharmony.com.

If Holden doesn’t reply in two days, let us know in the comments area below and don’t forget to put your eHarmony account email address on the box for the email. We will chase eHarmony for you with your permission.

#12. Kathleen of Winston Salem, NC October 8, 2009

My son a great deal of money for me to be on the e Harmony dating site for 3 months. It advertises “a perfect match”, exactly what you are looking for. Days would go by without me being sent any matches. Other days a “match” would be of a race I did not choose as a possiblitiy. Other matches sent to me were labeled “flexible match”, meaning they simply sent me someones profile that did not match my desires at all. I had the automatic renewal turned off, meaning at the end of the 3 months my membership would NOT be automatically renewed. My membership expired 10/05/2009. On that date I was sent an email from e Harmony that said they automatically renewed me for another 3 months, taking out 97 dollars from my son’s charge card. I called them at 8am 10/05/2009 telling them I did not want that renewed. The billing girl said because I did not have the auto renew turned off, they renewed me and there was nothing they could do. I told her I had the auto renewal off, but she insisted it was on. I was furious. She said she would have a supervisor send me an email for me to answer with my complaint. I received the email and wrote them immediately. I was to hear from someone within 48 hours. Noone responded so I recalled customer service, again explaining my demand of refunding the money taken from my son’s account, listing my complaints about the matches they would send me. All she would do was refund 30 dollars of the 97 dollars- charging me 57 dollars for one month. It is a BIG Scam, e Harmony.com. I have spoken to several other older singles who have had the same experience as I have.

Kathleen, I regret to say that your experience is not an isolated incident. Many have reported the auto-renewal turns on by itself! Technical glitch, I think not! Your complaint is well justified.

#13. Stacy of Chicago, IL October 7, 2009

I have tried this service on several occassions, they take your money, you spend a considerable amount of time completing your profile only to be sent matches that you have nothing in common with, live a million miles away from you, physically not compatible or never respond to requests to communicate. I’ve called customer service and they were less than helpful – didn’t even offer to extend membership, just offered to turn off auto renewal. I can do that myself. Of course no ever called me back, a manager was not available to listen to my complaints and they offered to send me an email link to the president’s office so I can email him my concerns. Like they’d ever get back to me. So now I am out 60 bucks for this stint and about 200 from previous stints and they don’t care because they have certified phychologists working on match criteria and it’s a proven method, blah, blah, blah. What a crock.

Stacy, why do you keep subscribing if you know the service isn’t working for you? Do you do the same with health supplements because I can tell you about a health pill I’m “using”.

#14. cindy of poway, CA October 6, 2009

They make it impossible to find a customer service contact. I signed up and the matches are way out of my age range or area where I live. No men communicate on there. Most have told me they just can’t get them to cancel their membership. 140 for nothing and I am a single parent.

Cindy, your age, geography and gender ultimately determine the sort of matches you’ll ever receive. I’m very sorry to hear that you paid $140 for a service that turned to be not for you. I regret that you didn’t have a chance to try it first before paying a subscription.

#15. John of Lincoln, NE October 6, 2009

E-harmony automatically renewed my membership, and charged me 140.95. Within 3 hours of this happening, I tried contacting them to cancel, and get a refund. They said because the automatic renewal was turned on, they couldn’t refund my money. But offered half the money and another 6 month membership.

I was told I could have cancelled the automatic renewal anytime. That’s news to me. I explained to the person on the phone that I would tell everyone I knew, how e-harmony screwed me, and wouldn’t refund my money. I am out 140.95

John, the “we will automatically renew your subscription” notice and the instructions to turn it off appear no less than 4 times during the payment process. It is incredible that you missed it.

#16. Archie of Las Cruces, NM October 4, 2009

I registered this morning received notice I was a member, now it keeps telling me I have to register to veiw anything, if thos the way you do buisness I wsil opt out. cancel every thing unless you can staighten this out.

Archie, well, uh, yes, it is.

#17. Jan of Santa Fe, NM October 1, 2009

Quite frankly, I don’t see how this deceptive company can still be in business! I signed up for this service about four plus years ago. I am college educated and my income is in the six-figures. The matches they kept coming up for me were unfathomable! At least five were garage mechanics! I would have NOTHING in common with any of these people. I then was sent someone I already knew and when I contacted him over the telephone, I found he had not even been with eHarmony for almost 2 years! How do they get away with this! This is definitely deceptive trade practices! Once I got the picture, I canceled my membership. However, even to this day, I am still getting email “matches” from them! They are trying to con me into signing up again! Just how stupid do they think we all are? Too bad someone doesn’t file a deceptive trade practices suit against eHarmony and either close them up for good, or force them to conduct business as they claim they do on their misleading commercials.

Yes, Jan, they do match you with members who last came to the site two years ago.

Here is why. Your friend asked eHarmony to send him matches and he has never told them to stop, so really, eHarmony is merely following his instructions. In fact, right now, the exact same thing is happening to the matches you are receiving, i.e., these men are getting you. eHarmony sends matches to those who ask for them – there’s no trickery involved.

#18. eharmony of brooklyn, NY October 1, 2009

eharmony.com sends me emails of woman who express interest in me although I’m not an active subscriber to eharmony. It then states I have to subscribe again to see the profile of these women.

I consider this false and misleading and unfair to the women to whom eharmony.com is apparently showcasing my profile as I am not an active subscriber. I don’t believe that eharmony.com is making full disclosure to these women that I am not an active subscriber. I was also informed that one woman subscribed to eharmony based on the notion that a profile sent to her was an active subscriber, which apparently was not the case. I consider the practice both deceiving and deceitful and predatory.

At the bottom of those “new match” emails are the following instructions, “If you no longer wish to receive matches and Match Notification e-mails, you will need to turn your matching off. Click here to turn your matching off.” Because you asked to receive matches and you don’t tell eHarmony to stop sending you matches, eHarmony is merely following your instructions. Please turn off your matching.

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Comments 29

  1. Dale wrote:

    I’m new to this eharmony – 2 weeks – and frustrated because I am unable to contact them. In my communicating tab it says I’m communicating with 12 people – there are actually only 2 and the others are “closed”. I don’t understand why they are still shown in “communicating” but I tried the help site so I could contact Tech support. Also having problems with my photos – can’t change the primary and/or delete anything. I followed the directions but nothing worked. I hate the fact that they don’t have a contact easily available. Match.com is a much easier site to navigate and if you need support you can get a hold of someone very quickly. Will not renew this subscription.

    Posted 06 Nov 2009 at 10:13 am
  2. Lily wrote:

    As an aside for people who despite the auto-renewal, a good fix is to change your credit card number on the website to a fake one. I did this and even though it attempted to auto-renew, no dice eHarmony. (On the upside, I had met a great guy; turned out be a sociopath, but eHarmony can’t screen for that!)

    Posted 09 Nov 2009 at 8:11 pm
  3. BRENDA wrote:

    Interesting revelation back a couple years ago on eHarmony…. I too said I wanted guys within a 30 mile radius and kept getting matches well over 500 and 1,000 miles away. I called them and asked. Here’s the scoop: That set of preference questions like age range, distance etc. YOU get to rank for level of importance. If you don’t rank it #1 importance, the system takes it literally as aa suggestion that isn’t your first priority. It “tries” to get you local matches but it might not always.

    I’ve had my ups and downs with eHarmony over the 10 years I’ve played with it. The concept is ingenious, but when a great concept is applied to goofy mortals, it’s the individuals who create the snafus.

    Posted 11 Nov 2009 at 11:21 am
  4. Cee Cee wrote:

    Surprised I have not seen this posted yet. This company is a SCAM. I received 4 matches whos profiles were IDENTICAL, word for word Identical…just different names on the matches. This in a period of over 6 months.

    I had printed all matches profiles and have the proof in black and white. Scam. BEWARE.

    Posted 13 Nov 2009 at 7:31 pm
  5. SingleGuyInNC wrote:

    Brenda:

    10 years? Really? Have you managed to get at least one relationship out of it in those years?

    Posted 14 Nov 2009 at 10:18 pm
  6. Dudley wrote:

    Ceecee, there are over 20 million profiles on eHarmony. How’d you expect their computer to detect when somebody made several profiles across several months?

    Did you report this to them? Did they fix it right away?

    Dudley

    Posted 16 Nov 2009 at 5:20 am
  7. SingleGuyInNC wrote:

    Four profiles that are identical word for word are likely Nigerian con artists and not a real person interested in a relationship.

    Posted 16 Nov 2009 at 11:12 am
  8. Dale wrote:

    Generally disapppointed in this format for internet dating – have removed myself from auto-renewal (took a phone call to do that!). I don’t think anything is perfect but I think Match has the right idea – let people scroll and see what appeals to them. EH does the choosing but there is no human factor involved – I don’t computer selection is the way to go in terms of meeting someone.

    Posted 16 Nov 2009 at 2:16 pm
  9. eharmonyblog wrote:

    Dale, just for info, some people are finding better success and more dates with the “send me matches” format. They say it levels the field. No man or woman receives hundreds of emails a day which they then ignore. Because each of your matches only received a few matches today besides you, she will tend to give each guy more consideration. Just for info.

    Posted 20 Nov 2009 at 1:31 am
  10. NL wrote:

    I just want to thank eharmonyblog for setting up this site. In the past I subscribed to eharmony and was shocked and disappointed by some of their “customer service” and steep pricing. While I shared what I could with some of the nice women I met and dated, this site does an even better job of raising people’s awareness. I do not know if eharmony will ever provide me with my future partner (versus just meeting her in person as I live my life), but their steep pricing, tricky tactics, and clunky website interface and rules can really take away from what might be an otherwise great experience of using their service. If it was not for your site, and the promo codes, I probably would not have re-subscribed after being away for over 1 year.

    Posted 22 Nov 2009 at 12:25 pm
  11. AB wrote:

    All,

    Let me give you a trick so you never have to deal with eHarmony or any other site auto renewing on you. Never use your credit/Debit card. What you need to do is get paypal credit card plugin. It allows you to set up virtual cards that take funds from your debit card. To eHarmony, its a credit card. The card has a one-time use (unless you set it as multi-use) so they can only hit you one time. Also, you can go into paypal and close down cards at will.

    Simple way of ensuring no one automatically hits your card on a recurring basis.

    Posted 23 Nov 2009 at 8:13 pm
  12. Kenner wrote:

    I was an eharmony member three years ago, and closed my account after I met someone. It didn’t work out so I recently signed up again. I was quite surprised to see all my personal information – photos, profile, credit card # were still there, after 3 years and me “closing” the account.

    Stranger yet, eharmony “never matches you more than once” so my matches from 3 years ago are still there but I can’t communicate with them.

    Posted 08 Dec 2009 at 8:15 pm
  13. TMF wrote:

    eHarmony is a total scam from top to bottom! Their deceptive pricing practices should be investigated and a class action suit filed against them. I tried every single day for a week to disable autorenew, only to sign on the next day to find it had been changed back. Then all of a sudden I cannot even access my profile at all. A very very rude “customer service” rep argued with me about whether or not I had ever tried to disable autorenew – would not STFU when I told her I wasn’t interested in any “deals” she had for me to stay. I had to demand an email confirmation that autorenew had been disabled from their end (keeping it for later proof).

    The profiles I have received have been completely fake – or at least that is my theory. Of the 400+ profiles sent to me – fewer than 40 have even “looked” at me in the last year. Do that many men really pay handsomely for a site they never use? My guess is no.

    Of the 400+ profiles sent to me – 80% have no photos – and I have never once received a photo after asking for one from any profile.

    Of the 400+ profiles sent to me – I have met face to face with 2 “gentlemen” over the course of a year. One of them told me within five minutes of meeting that he did not live anywhere near where his profile said he did, and that if we were ever seen in public together we could not tell anyone how we met or why we were together – my guess is MARRIED! The second “gentleman,” get this, one of his profile pics was actually a cropped pic listed in the sex offender registry for the State of Maryland! The reason I know is that I routinely peruse those sites for local sex offenders (I have kids!). By the way, he insisted on praying out loud – very loud – over dinner.

    Total, complete scam!

    Posted 27 Jan 2010 at 2:32 pm
  14. Joe wrote:

    You folks are terrific! You bend over backwards to say that you are NOT eHarmony, BUT your responses and your customer-service-speak makes it SO clear the following: No, you are not eHarmony, but CLEARLY eHarmony is paying you. Please, folks, realize this site for the joke it is.
    (And I challenge you folks to publish this comment!)

    Posted 08 Feb 2010 at 12:34 am
  15. annoymous1 wrote:

    Well, I do not know if eHarmony is paying them or not. I wonder where they get all the photos of the happily married couples or soon to be married couples. However, if they are maybe they will learn something. So, far they haven’t banned me and I am not exactly a fan of their and that is an understatment.

    Posted 08 Feb 2010 at 6:20 am
  16. annoymous1 wrote:

    By saying I am not a fan of their I mean the real (mean) eHarmony.

    Posted 08 Feb 2010 at 6:21 am
  17. annoymous1 wrote:

    Ok, I will give this blog the benefit of the doubt that eHarmony is not paying them. I do wonder though how you get all those photos of the couples on every blog.

    Posted 08 Feb 2010 at 6:35 am
  18. annoymous1 wrote:

    I will say that these photos some of them are really quite touching. The one of the woman sitting down by her partner in a wheel chair. The reality is though that is indeed a small percentage. I have read also that some couples are paid to do this. So who knows. Let me say though when it comes to images there is a photo of me standing by a pedesterian bridge with this “Bridge to eHarmony?” That I used was even complimented. Obviously that image didn’t take.

    Posted 08 Feb 2010 at 6:52 am
  19. eharmonyblog wrote:

    Annoymous, in case it isn’t obvious, there is a “Photo credit” link under each and every photo. All 1,100 of them.

    Joe, not only will we accept your challenge to publish your comment, we will even invite you to write and submit articles which we will publish unedited. If all goes well, another Joe will come and comment on your article. :) Oh, and we’ll publish his comment, too, unless he’s selling ebooks or pills or something.

    Posted 08 Feb 2010 at 12:20 pm
  20. annoymous1 wrote:

    I notice that. Well, good, feel good photos. They do seem a plug for eHarmony. But, I will give you the benefit of the doubt. Almost like Normal Rockwell except for someone who can see beyond the image hype .

    Posted 08 Feb 2010 at 12:46 pm

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