(Republished in entirety with permission from johnsmith3487, dated October 7, 2009. Thanks, John!)
Dafearon wrote:
johnsmith3487 wrote,
“I don’t understand why there is so little activity among my matches. … Did I give eHarmony $100 to match me up with a bunch of people that I’ll never be able to talk to?”
Lets look at it from another point of view.
How much are you willing to spend, if you were guaranteed a date? Okay, how about if you were guaranteed a relationship, and then think about guaranteed marriage? Be honest with yourself. How much are these things worth to you?
Second, and this is important. How much is that $100.00 you spent worth to you? If you had that back, what would you do with it instead?
I ask these questions because people need to weigh how much this is worth to them? If they want a quality mate, but they’re not willing to put in the time and energy and, unfortunately, resources, to find it, whats the point?
My point is this. If the $100.00 is life and death for you. Break the bank kind of money, then no, you should not have spent it here because this site is not a sure thing. None of these dating sites are. One should approach EH and any other dating site with a huge grain of salt. If the money you are spending is not worth it to you, then dont’ subscribe. Spend your money elsewhere. But if you can afford this site, or another site, and you’re not really meeting anyone, then give it a shot and see what happens. Worse case scenario, you are in the same position you are at, down a little money, but we’ve already decided you can afford it, so its not a big deal. But if you did meet someone, you’re better off than if you didn’t spend the money.
You just don’t know. This is an avenue to meet people. That is all. Too many people get upset because they’re not getting the perfect match that wants them as soon as they subscribe.
The money is not important. It doesn’t matter what I would do with the $100 if I had it back. What is important is that I’m paying for a service from a company, and I expect that company to treat me with respect.
Imagine walking into your local grocery store to get a gallon of milk. You walk to the back, grab a gallon, and head up front to pay. You walk up to the clerk and he tells you that you can’t just buy that 1 jug, you have to buy 3 months’ worth of milk all upfront. “No big deal, I’m going to have to buy all that milk anyway”, you say to yourself. You agree to the 3-month plan, and you take your milk home to enjoy a hearty dinner of Coco Puffs and Miller Lite. But alas, upon pouring the milk onto your bowl of chocolatey goodness, you find that it’s actually expired! “Oh no!”, you shout, while taking a step back in terror. But there’s nothing on the label to indicate that it’s expired! You sit down for a minute, trying to find a way to deal with the severity of the situation, and thinking this must be some fluke. “Miller Lite without Coco Puffs? No way, it can’t be done!” You run out the door and head back to the store to exchange the milk for a fresh gallon. You tell the clerk what happened, trying not to stare at the little horns growing out of his forehead that you somehow missed before. The clerk responds smirkingly, “No problem, buddy! Just head on back to the milk aisle and grab another jug. There’s a 90% chance that it’s sour, but keep your chin up. If you keep pouring sour milk all over your Puffs, you’ll find that fresh jug eventually!” The devil-clerk laughs at your plight, taunting you with images of people enjoying big bowls of Coco Puffs as you walk back towards the milk aisle.
Do you keep going back to that same grocery store, picking up jug after jug of milk hoping to finally find one that isn’t expired, or do you demand your money back and go to a better store where all the milk is fresh?
I want my money back not so that I will have $100 more, but so that eHarmony will have $100 less. Hell, I would be happy if they just donated $100 to a charity on my behalf. I don’t think eHarmony deserves my $100. I do want to find a good relationship, and I am willing to pay for the service. But if the service doesn’t work, then F them, why should they keep my money?
The only possible reason I can see for eHarmony keeping inactive and unpaid people listed is that they want to boost their membership numbers to look bigger than they really are. Lots of organizations do this, especially organizations that lobby congress. Strength in numbers, woo-hoo! But with those organizations, it really doesn’t matter to the real members if the ranks are full of people who died 10 years ago and free-trial members that never paid dues. On eHarmony, it does directly affect the paying members. It is clearly an issue, as half of the threads on this board are from people who are very annoyed and feel that they have been mislead by eHarmony.
I was so excited to sign up, and now I’m getting more and more disappointed. We’ll see how this next week goes.
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