“When in a relationship, are you a jealous person?”

Why it’s okay to send this canned first question:

When you’re weary of immature love and have decided that you “have no time anymore to wait for him to grow up.” This question immediately blows off jealous matches.
You are very jealous and dependent yourself.

Why it ain’t okay to send this:

It hints that in a past relationship, jealousy was a reason why your relationship ended horribly. Are you sure you want a complete stranger know this?
Sending this needs caution because it takes many people to an “unhappy place.”

Here are the choices:

When in a relationship, are you a jealous person?
A: I’m not the least bit jealous.
B: I don’t consider myself jealous, but on occasion I have felt threatened.
C: I feel jealous every now and then.
D: I’m not overbearing or abusive, but I can be quite jealous.

How to answer this:

Picking D is as good as asking for a close match. Most people will just click B and C. Picking A is fishy, it’s much better to write in a lengthy answer. Why is it fishy? Because jealousy, like ego and prejudice, is a normal human trait. Nobody never experiences it.

The bold answer to this question is to state an example when you felt jealous with your partner. For example,

With the right person, I am committed to family and the relationship and I think I ought to expect the same from her.

I like spending time with those I love, so when a partner and I haven’t spend quality time together for a while, I tell him I miss him because I hate it.

I am great at making someone feel special, but it feels good to be appreciated, too. If you call this jealousy it’s up to you.

I bet there will be things you do that will annoy me or make me jealous. And I bet vice-versa. However, there’s nothing like open communication to discuss these things harmoniously.

You can’t be sure you love someone unless you feel just a bit jealous. But only a little bit.

Jealousy has no space in a mature relationship. Love is unconditional and therefore cannot be jealous.

How would you answer this question?

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Comments 2

christine wrote:
I answer A. Never felt jealousy. Honestly, I don’t know what it feels like and I don’t understand it if I see it in other people, esp as it is often very destructive. I’ve seen no relationship improve when jealousy showed itself so why on earth submit to such an emotion?
Posted 05 Aug 2010 at 11:59 am ¶
Steven wrote:
@Christine

I am actually glad to see you make such a statement. I’ve often been told I wasn’t “normal” because I don’t understand jealousy.

I understand envy because I have seen things people want and thought “Gee, I really want one of those.” But that’s a pretty mild form of envy and isn’t anything near what jealousy looks like when I see it in others.

I also understand disappointment, which is what I usually feel when a partner has done something that other people say I should be jealous about. So I think disappointment is jealousy with out the steroids and rage.
Posted 09 Jun 2011 at 11:24 pm ¶

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