Married lawyer sues online dating service for refusing to help him find love
BEVERLY HILLS, CA, March 30, 2006 – A man separated from his wife but not quite divorced is suing the popular online matchmaker eHarmony for refusing to help him find a date.
John Claassen, a 36-year-old lawyer from Emeryville, filed a lawsuit in Alameda County Superior Court alleging eHarmony abridged his civil rights by refusing to match him up. He said the company, which has an “unmarried only” policy, broke state law by discriminating against him based on his marital status.
Claassen, who is seeking $12,000 in civil penalties, said Monday he expects his divorce to be official in about two months, but that he shouldn’t have to wait until then to use eHarmony. It should be up to would-be dates to decide whether to pass him over because he is technically still married, he said.
“I think ultimately California civil rights laws leave those sorts of choices to the individual rather than to business establishments,” he said. “Any user can decide who they’re looking for, and if they want to make a choice based on marital status, I don’t see why they can’t do that.”
A spokesman for Pasadena-based eHarmony did not immediately return a telephone call for comment on the lawsuit.
An e-mail Claassen said he received from the company’s customer service department explained that “we have to create rules based on what’s best for most people, most of the time.” It says eHarmony is in the business of matching singles “free of relationship commitments.”
The stance is based on customer surveys that show the vast majority of users want their matches to be divorced, widowed or never married at all, according to the company. Claassen would be welcome to join “once your divorce is final,” the e-mail stated.
EHarmony’s policy against still-wed singles is at odds with some other online dating services. Match.com allows users to state in their online profiles whether they were never married, are widowed, currently separated or divorced.
Claassen and his wife of eight years separated in May, and he expects the divorce to be final within two months.
“I just think I’ve got a right as an individual trying to recover from something that wasn’t the high point of my life,” Claassen said in a telephone interview Monday. “If that includes dating now, why can’t I?”
– provided by DatingServices-Online, 30 March 2006
Categories: News
I have to say though that if he is in the middle of a divorce he’s also probably carrying around a lot of emotional baggage from the marriage and you would probably not want to get serious with him until he’s over it anyway. I’m just saying.
by Luthe on May 30, 2008 at 12:25 am
I also had the same problem as this man. At first I too was disappointed by eHarmony’s rules. However, after having been back in the dating game for a while, and meeting many married men who lied to me about their dating status, I think eHarmony is doing a great thing by trying to make sure the person is divorced. I cannot begin to explain how devistating it is to fall in love with someone only to find out they lied to you about their marital status.
by anonymous on Aug 30, 2009 at 1:24 pm
One of the ‘excuses’ I hear all the time from married men (and women), “I cannot afford to get a divorce”.
Sorry, I don’t buy the argument that, “I’m still technically married because I cannot afford to get a divorce.”
She can afford to date but not afford to divorce.
Sounds like the broccoli vs dessert argument, “I don’t like broccoli and I want my dessert NOW!” Two words….
Grow UP!
Suzy Weiss
Dating A Married Man?
by Suzy Weiss on Dec 20, 2009 at 7:08 am
Maybe if eHarmony wasn’t bragging all the time about their marriage success rate, this man wouldn’t be suing. Seems a little odd, since he is still married. I doubt he wants to re- married this quickly. Some man can’t wait. However, this just shows how over rated eHarmony is. These men can get on other date sites. eHarmony is not the only game in town, country or internationally although they like to act like it. Let eHarmony do what they are doing. It is not worth trying to find the key to break in their gate. JMO
by annoymous1 on Dec 20, 2009 at 2:26 pm
As for civil rights. This is a cooperation not a govermental entity. However, I will be interested to see if he prevails. But I really wonder if he can get away with this. One of the reasons they state they can terminate someone is because they misrepresent that their marital status. And it is written in their and terms and conditions which is what a customers is supposed to sign. So, he might win initially but they can bounce him later? Of course he is supposed to be divorced in two months. That’s an awful short time. I will be interested to see how it plays out. In order for him to win he would probably have to proved the terms and conditions were unlawful. But, so far, I have heard that they are. He must have a reason though being a lawyer to think he can win this. We will see. Why is everyone though trying to gate crash eHarmony. I am sure not. In addition, by the time he gets a court date the two months are bound to pass. So, he must have some mysterious why he wants to take on eHarmony.
by annoymous1 on Dec 20, 2009 at 5:03 pm
Well at least he is honest about his marital status. eHarmony is not going to allow that though. They don’t want to miss the photo op of him marrying one of their matches. I predict as they screen more and more people out, they are going to be a date line for upper professional people. They need the money that is where they will get it unless they are married.
by annoymous1 on Dec 21, 2009 at 8:48 am
I agree that this man should be able to use online dating site, Eharmony. What’s the difference if he gets on and other’s have to discover his emotional baggage. At least his honest, how many married men and women are probably online pretending to be single…
by Muslim Dating Site on Feb 10, 2012 at 5:14 am