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There is someone I’m DYING to communicate with, by paperdoll1511

I’m worried that something is wrong with my account on eH.   First, in the 2 months I have been a subscriber, I have received probably 12 matches.  That’s 12 TOTAL.  I’ve changed my settings, expaned my search area and compromised on what I felt was not as important.  I did all of this in the hopes that I’d get more matches, but that hasn’t helped.

In fact, in the past 2 weeks, I have not received one  { N O N E }.  Just about every time I log in, I click the “Find New Matches” button to try and prompt the system.  It’s not working.

So, that’s the first issue.  The second is that there IS one match I have that is someone I am DYING to communicate with.  As soon as we were matched, I sent him the 1st questions.  Through some simple searching on google, I was able to find a link to his blog which said that he would be out of the country for about 1 month (and he left the morning after I sent him the questions!!)  Ugh!  Anyway, for that month, I just decided to wait easily knowing that he would not have access to eH b/c of where he was going.  BTW, at no time did he ever come up as viewing my profile (his name showing) and I did not have any anonymous viewings either.

After he got back, I waited about 10 days or so and decided to send him an Icebreaker, because I didn’t have any idea if he was a subscriber.  Still, I had NO response…OR ANY PROFILE VIEWS from him.  One would think that at the very least, he would at least view my profile out of curiousity.

So, about a week later, I logged on and decided to look at his profile since I hadn’t viewed it fully in a quite awhile.  He had updated it with new answers and photos. (!!!!)  I had NOT been notified on my “Recent Activity” page like you normally are when a match updates/responds, etc.  I also had kinda thought that he just was not really doing eH at all (had met someone or taking a break from dating)  But when I saw that he had logged on and changed his profile, that’s when I started wondering if something funky was going on with my account.  I called eH customer service, but they were no help at all.

So, (again through a simple google search…I PROMISE I’m not a stalker!!!  haha) I saw that he had a FB account, and I thought, “I have nothing to lose, I’m just going to send him a quick, but humble message saying that I had had problems with my account on eH and I just wondered if he had gotten the message.”   The next day, I received his reply to my first set of questions.  GREAT!  Mystery solved…I thought.

I waited an appropriate amount of time (not too short, but not too long) and replied to his 1st set of questions.  That was about a week ago, and I have not heard ONE thing from him since.  NO replies, no profile views and no closing.  However, in that time, too, I have not received ANY matches either.

I completely understand that everyone has the right to respond if and when he wants, and if he’s not interested, I’m perfectly o.k. with that.  Someone better is out there.  It just boggles me that all these things have happend and there does not seem to be an explanation.

So, would I be wise to investigate further with customer service again?  Delete and re-activate my account? Cut my losses with him? Get a life?  haha

If he didn’t seem absolutely perfect and like someone I could be really into, I’d move on, but he’s everything I’m looking for and more…HELP!!!!

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Comments 6

  1. SingleGuyInNC wrote:

    There are so many matches I’ve gotten that I’ve pined for hoping they would communicate based on how perfect the profile seemed. I can understand the desperation to get a hold of that “one”. You might think that the desperation is not as much when you are getting a stream of matches (which you are not). Unfortunately, it’s still there, because you still have the same ratio of non-communicators and usually the ones that do, aren’t really the ones you are interested in. Some of those that looked great on paper, I met and turned out to be disappointments, so beware of having such a high emotional attachment to an electronic profile.

    Depending on where you live, you may just not get that many matches or what sort of settings that you consider to be “flexible”. “Find new matches” isn’t going to help you if your settings are strict or there just aren’t any nearby that you aren’t getting any. You might want to give customer service a call and see what suggestion they have, since it seems like lately they have been more customer oriented to help them get better results.

    There are several articles on here about how the settings influence your daily quota of matches. What you consider to be “flexible” may not be enough to get them to come in faster than a trickle and honestly, it is a numbers game. The more matches you try to communicate with, the greater odds of finding someone.

    Posted 06 May 2009 at 9:36 pm
  2. Uncle Fester wrote:

    I think initially, everyone falls madly in love with a profile. And I think eventually everyone also looks back and has a good laugh at themselves over this.

    A picture and a couple of paragraphs tells you almost nothing. (Sometimes, less than nothing.) But Dr. eH’s promise of compatibility can lead you into a very strange place emotionally. Perhaps a place you’ve never been before. You send Icebreakers and Photo Nudges and Questions… oh, why won’t they respond??? Not realizing that you’re simply adding to the stink of desperation hanging in the air. If the other person is even around to smell it.

    If a match doesn’t respond, close him/her and move on. It feels wrong at first – what if he/she is The One? Do it anyway. Don’t let eH weigh you down. Don’t be DYING to communicate with anyone.

    Posted 06 May 2009 at 10:41 pm
  3. Smashville wrote:

    Wait…you violated his privacy and then you called customer service because your match wasn’t communicating? Did you drive by his house to see if there was a car in the driveway?

    Posted 18 May 2009 at 12:44 pm
  4. Uncle Fester wrote:

    “Violated his privacy?” Oh, that’s just crap.

    If anyone is dumb enough to give out sufficient personal information through their profile alone that you can figure out who they are, then that’s their problem. (And probably a TOS violation.)

    Some basic public records searching on my prospective eH dates allowed me to see that Ms. “I like managing my finances” was in foreclosure, and another match was recently divorced (a fact that she totally avoided in guided and open communcation).

    If you’re gonna date total strangers, you’d darn well better take advantage of any information you can find.

    Posted 18 May 2009 at 6:06 pm
  5. Smashville wrote:

    You can find anyone on Facebook if you have their first name and enough patience. I still think it’s violating their privacy to go out finding them on social network sites when they haven’t even contacted you.

    Posted 19 May 2009 at 12:40 pm
  6. SingleGuyInNC wrote:

    Smashville: Sometimes folks use a different first name on eH than their FB account. So, your statement that you can find “anyone” is not accurate.

    Beg to differ on violating their privacy. They signed up with the service to offer their profile to a select group of people (matches) that they were compatible with and as such, reveal personal information to them. There is no way to control what a match does with that personal information. It is awful hard to stop the transitive property of mathematics/logic, which is what looking up a potential match is…

    I don’t see this as being different than any other situation where you happen across bits and pieces of legitimately acquired personal information about someone, say from overhearing a conversation or someone else mentioning a single prospect that they know and then you look them up on FB or another site. That is what the sites were designed for: networking. If that person doesn’t protect their own privacy or posts their stuff as public, that’s sort of tough luck in this day and age.

    Personally, I could care less about FB or social networking sites, where I can lock/protect my info. I’m more worried about tax records and other more personal things that I don’t have control over.

    On the other hand, it is a détente of sorts. You can dig up what you can find about each other, if you are that sort of person.

    Uncle Fester: the foreclosure one is an interesting story! I ended up meeting divorcees and date #1 or #2, it came up. I guess this is more of a big deal for someone who hasn’t been married. They are out there, once you hit a certain age bracket. I guess I am more willing to give folks a chance but in the end, neglecting things like these, there always seems to be a larger “deal-breaker” once you meet in person…

    Posted 19 May 2009 at 8:57 pm

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