eHarmony Blog.com

…continuing from Part I…

So, I decided to take the plunge, $75 worth of membership for 12 months to find out who was interested in me…

Caveat:  I get 12 months provided I meet their requirements of keeping my profile visible, photo posted and sending five messages per month during the first 6 months.  Easy, right?

Well, it turns out I signed up one day after the time limit that they store messages (30 days), so it got purged and I never knew for sure who it was who messaged me.  -1 more for match.com.  I could see the “who has viewed me” equivalent once I was a subscriber and was able to narrow down who it was based on that and wait for it …big surprise…they were not a match I was interested in.

Initial impressions:

It is a jungle out there for both men and women.

Sad to say, but it does not seem like it is worth bothering with Match.com if you are male.  I think the statement I’ve heard that 10% of  users send 90% of the messages is probably correct.  Just like eHarmony, it is a numbers game.  The matches you look at or get that are usually the interesting ones, don’t respond.  One has to wonder if the desirable men and women that are on dating sites are real or if it is even worth pursuing them because they are all “just trying out online dating”.  They don’t really need to find a date but are curious about what is available online.

I’ve sent messages to nearly 50 members which I had screened to have similar characteristics on our profile so as to increase the odds of a response and well, obviously I want to try to communicate with matches that would be a good fit.  This may be part of Match.com’s problem: the girls want a “good guy” but end up only communicating with the “bad apples”.

I got two responses to my e-mails but they never went beyond the initial reply to my message (I replied but never heard back from them).  Apparently, the rest of the matches can’t even be bothered to click “I’m not interested” so that you know they got your message/wink.  You have to pay extra (per month) to get a notification that your match has read your message.  This whole scheme just seems to be poorly implemented.  However, there is the same problem on eHarmony with non-responsive matches, so I guess it isn’t all THAT bad.

On the flip-side, women only need sign up and will be likely be inundated with messages as soon as they get a picture up.  Commentary from a few women that are on Match.com is that they often (mostly?) get messages from men that give them “the creeps” (outside their age range or don’t consider their profiles before messaging).  So, if you are a female, be prepared to do a lot of screening.  I think that it becomes a problem they over-screen and end up missing out on some good candidates.

I am currently in month #3 and am having a tough time bringing myself to compose and send the paltry five messages to meet their quota so that inevitably, at the end of the sixth month, I will request that they extend my service because I “did not meet anyone special”.  This is because I’m tired of having to come up with a few original sentences based on their profile to send so that I have a reasonable shot (obviously a form e-mail isn’t going to get anyone’s attention).  I don’t see how one can or should send a lengthy e-mail to try and show more interest for first contact given the rejection ratio.