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“How important is chemistry to you?”

This is one of the canned 1st questions in eHarmony. The pre-set choices are:

  1. I need to feel that instant “click”
  2. within the first couple of dates I need to sense a certain chemistry
  3. I think chemistry can be generated over the long-term with someone I really like
  4. I don’t believe chemistry is really important to a successful relationship

Do we need a survey to find the best answer for this question? It’s B. within the first couple of dates I need to sense a certain chemistry. Anyone who believes in C or D and joins a dating service has lost his mind. He should go marry his next-door neighbour instead and save on petrol, telephone bills, expensive dinners, moving costs and subscriptions to online dating services. Anyone who answers A will drop you like a dead horse if another woman clicks with him. Am I right?

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Comments 5

  1. Marie wrote:

    I agree 100%. If you answered C or D it makes me feel like your just looking for a warm body; anyone will “do”. This way of thinking could be a big reason that relationships don’t make it. I don’t want a date just because you are bored and hey, I think I’ll pick just anyone. If you could take it or leave it, please… just leave it.

    Posted 13 Jun 2009 at 8:13 am
  2. lisa wrote:

    I totally disagree with your response to if you answer A.
    I’m a totally loyal person, never cheated and would NEVER, but I need to feel that instant click with someone if I am going to spend my valuable time getting to know them better. I need instant chemistry or its not happenin.

    Posted 07 Jan 2010 at 2:43 pm
  3. lina wrote:

    I am in my late 30′s and I completely agree with #2. When I was younger I lived by #1 and in hindsight I think that I probably missed out on many wonderful guys because I never gave them a chance because I didn’t feel that instant click. I think it can sometimes take 2-3 dates before the connection becomes obvious. First dates might not always show a person at their best, they might be nervous,etc. However, I would not continue to see someone if I was not feeling an attraction after a 3rd date.

    Posted 16 Jan 2010 at 9:34 pm
  4. Pete wrote:

    My response to Lina’s comment, do you really need 3 dates to see if you are attracted towards a guy? Or is it a freebie dinner until 3rd date. My mind boggles sometimes with women.

    There are some nice decent guys who are truly looking for love but some women have made this a game.

    Posted 14 Jun 2010 at 5:43 pm
  5. SingleGuyInNC wrote:

    Most women don’t seem to give guys a chance. According to a recent book, men “get the axe” on the first date for any number of some 300 odd reasons. See: http://eharmony-blog.com/1949. She advises the opposite: go out on a few dates if there is a possible connection…

    Posted 14 Jun 2010 at 11:21 pm

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