From “Searching for the Needle”: A veteran friend’s advice

After everything, eHarmony is just a tool in finding the love of our lives. It’s our perspective that refines our eyes and ears and finds us our lifetime match.
Pandax,

A few weeks ago I wrote Pisces about my possible re-entry into online dating. I asked if she had any pearls of wisdom from her two dives into that world. (She married someone she met through eHarmony.)…

“For my first profile page, which helped me meet the sicko mommy’s boy liar loser, …in addition to all the other guys I e-mailed but didn’t meet in person…on the first round, I tried to be cute and funny. I wanted to sound attractive and cool. When I dumped sicko and then went back to e-harmony a few days later, I decided SCREW IT, I’m just going to put on my profile what I REALLY want, which is a guy without all this weird baggage–someone who knows who he is, what he wants in life, and has worked out any major issues from childhood, ex-girlfriends, etc. I knew it was risky to say that but it was what I really wanted, and I figured if a guy was offended by that, then he wouldn’t be right for me. If a guy understood what I meant, then maybe there was a chance.”

Her perspective is very to the point. It’s so challenging to be the fierce women we are in life and balance that with the traditional ideals of relationships engrained by family and culture…. She recommends putting down whatever I feel is important whether it’s having kids soon or wanting someone who makes good money. She boiled it down to “If you’re going to scare a guy, he won’t be able to handle you anyway.”

It’s something to consider as I draft a profile. All these dating places have their good and bad points. No matter which one, there’s always the challenge of sorting through the crap and knowing which ones are worth pursuing. I’ll have to ask Pisces if she has some guidance on that.

Read the rest of her post.

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