In my original blog, I’ve written a lot of advice on how guys can get better results from eHarmony.
And, although I’ve often been critical of some of their services, I’ve been pretty restrained in my criticism of the eHarmony system itself.
After all, my goal was to help guys do better on eHarmony. And telling folks that “Your failure is all eHarmony’s fault” would prevent many guys from making changes that could lead to their happiness with the eHarmony service.
But, yes, I have one major criticism.
The problem is not the personality matching system. This is what makes eHarmony unique. And, in my experience, it does successfully narrow the field to folks that I stand a better chance of getting along with.
The problem is in what happens after the match is made. It’s because eHarmony’s guided communication system assumes that attraction is a left-brained activity, much like it’s personality matching algorithm.
As it stands, the guided communication process helps it’s members come up with reasons to avoid meeting each other. Rather than helping it’s members explore the commonalities that they may share.
And it encourages people to openly discuss topics that, in my opinion, can only be shared after a sense of attraction and basic comfort is established.
Bottom-line? It needs a major rewrite.
And, in my infinite generosity… I’ll begin a draft of a new “Guided Communication System” in my next article.
(This article also appears in Scott’s blog My Life Cracked)