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1. From Popular People » Blog Archive » Tricked Again! · Eharmony Blog on 04 Feb 2009 at 3:05 am ¶

   [...] and since I liked the Helen Fischer in TED talks [check them out in YOUTUBE.. all TED talks are awesome!!], I decided to watch it online. Five parts, interesting take on dating and my opinion is in the original post of SingleGuyInNC. …More [...]

Comments 4

1. SingleGuyInNC wrote:

   They are in business to make money. It doesn’t cost them anything to “give away free matches” to try and entice you but if you consciously turn matching off, they shouldn’t be turning it back on. I was matched with a few people and best that I can recall, they are the same 5 as the last time I logged into the site many moons ago. I think the way it works is that it sends you the matches but doesn’t do so for the other party unless you show interest in them.

   As for your breakdown, I thought it was interesting. When I watched the show, I was thinking, hmm…I exhibit a lot of these traits, maybe some of them a little less than others. I just logged back into my account “over there” and looked at my test results:
   E – 25%
   B – 26%
   N – 20%
   D – 27%

   Since D & B are the highest, it lists me primarily as those two.

   So, how do you match someone who is essentially distributed fairly evenly among the qualities? I’m a good match for everyone or I’m only a good match for someone else who has a similar breakdown?

   Posted 03 Feb 2009 at 9:08 am ¶
2. LavenderLover wrote:

   My point exactly SingleGuyInNC! since E & D are my “principal” traits, they just make a pie with almost 50/50 of those two and try matching me with E & N 50/50. Maybe what it means is that we are both well rounded individuals and can adapt to anything !! Cheers to us!!

   Actually I decided to ‘stop matching’ and then all my matches were archived. When they get archived then you can view them! Yes even photos! One of the people who was “interested’ in me, has been my match twice under eHarmony, and both times he has closed me. Go figure!

   Posted 03 Feb 2009 at 4:42 pm ¶
3. SingleGuyInNC wrote:

   Regarding being well rounded, it seems like I could get along well with many but it would be forced and not natural. Another thing one has to consider in evaluating a match. I guess that is why it is hard for me to close folks / decide not to pursue them further but I’m learning to be more discerning and less flexible.

   I’ve been re-matched on eH. First time she closed me. Second time (with my “souped-up” profile) lead to OC and two dates (where I found that I wasn’t interested). Maybe it is your profile that changed his interest?

   It feels pretty sad to keep getting matched to the same folks over and hopeless when you see the “usual suspects” on the various sites.

   Posted 03 Feb 2009 at 8:12 pm ¶
4. SincerelyEthical wrote:

   I also took the Chemistry.com test a while ago, and I recall a rather similar outcome. If I recall correctly, the “Builder” part of me did make it into the 30% range, while the other three aspects were between 20% and 25%. What I find most interesting about the major matchmaking sites is the significant differences in their respective scientific approaches to matchmaking. Interestingly, their scientific advisors have all authored books on love relationships!

   We are all familiar with Dr. Neil Clark Warren’s work. eHarmony seems to rely mostly on the Big Five personality traits. There’s plenty of research behind this, but the following exerpt regarding the Big 5 on Wikipedia.com informs us of a weakness: “It is important to note that these traits have been found to organize personality at the highest level, and so they are most helpful as a conceptual, organizing framework for regular, lower-level personality traits. However, because the Big Five traits are so broad and comprehensive, they are not nearly as powerful in predicting and explaining actual behavior as are the more numerous lower-level traits. Many studies have confirmed that in predicting actual behavior the more numerous facet or primary level traits are far more effective (e.g. Mershon & Gorsuch, 1988[23]; Paunonon & Ashton, 2001[24])”

   PerfectMatch.com’s Dr. Pepper Schwartz – a well-respected sociologist – seems to rely primarily upon a form of the Myers-Briggs personality type indicator test, which basically measures psychological preferences regarding people’s decision-making processes and how they view the world.

   As a highly respected anthropologist, Chemistry.com’s Dr. Helen Fisher is without a doubt a leading (perhaps THE leading) authority on the brain and the biological factors of attraction. Her work is certainly fascinating.

   RewardingLove.com’s Dr. Robert M. Gordon is a renowned psychologist, psychoanalyst, researcher, ethicist and a highly respected authority on the science of love relations, as well as the MMPI. His “Unified Model of Love Relations” considers both biological and psychological factors, including the unconscious mind. Here is an exerpt from the site: “What is love? Since no single theory can explain it, I have developed a unified model combining all of the main contributing factors in love relations from evolutionary psychology, personality trait theory, object relations and attachment, cognitive psychology and social psychology. I use a heuristic pyramid to illustrate these five factors. Starting at the base, these factors are: species traits, individual traits, relational internalizations, beliefs and current context. Each factor puts a dynamic influence on the others. The five factors are conceptually linked through time, moving from evolutionary history through to the present context.”

   It would be interesting to gather these four at a round table and have them defend their methodologies. Tickets not yet available…

   Posted 24 Sep 2009 at 10:47 pm ¶

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