eharmony, what a ripoff

so I’ve been a member now for several weeks….my biggest complaint is that I paid money to meet actual people and I strongly suspect that my introductions are just from whoever has EVER answered the eharmony questionnaire and fits the upper age range of normal adult life. l have asked eharmony what percentage of my matches are actual subscribers and they have refused to answer that question.  they just inform me that everyone has the opportunity to subscribe and have the chance to meet me.  Well oh wow.  I paid to meet people and if I have to wait for someone I MIGHT be interested in to join within the same time frame as my subscription, well I may as well lay here on the sofa and wait for them to ring my doorbell.  the likelihoods of both events happening is totally equal.  There is a saying, don’t throw good money after bad, and why would a sane individual consider doing such a thing?  I’ll tell you why, dating makes us insane.  Well I have a 3 month subscription, and from what I’ve read in the blog universe, you better put eharmony on notice multiple times, multiple places and well well in advance of subscription renewal time.  Because you see dear friend, this is a profit motivated company, which is a policy I do admire, but there is no concern for actually satisfying a customer.  You are just on your own.  May as well take your chances in a bar at 3am wearing a blindfold.

so I thought I might spread my feelings about my eharmony experience out here in the wide world.  They did give me an opportunity to read there FAQs and oh wow, that was full of disclaimer talk and lame excuses, but then I got my chance to answer a customer service survey, and why shouldn’t the world know what my experience has been like?  I shall try to include my reply here:

So after selecting “Very Dissatisfied” on a half dozen or so aspects of the eharmony experience, I was invited to offer comment, which I did:

This has been a total waste of my time and money….let me state right now that I do not intend to renew this subscription and I cannot recommend your service to anyone. this is nothing more than a moneymaking operation conceived by dr. neil harmony warren clark.While I don’t see anything wrong with entrepreneurship, I cannot respect the level of dishonesty on which he has founded his business. Your questionnaire and your 29 points of compatibility are just bogus. you have simply asked respondents to select the descriptors they feel most positively conveys the personality traits they wish to present….this indicates nothing of their true essence. Most disappointing of all is that these identities are forwarded around the eharmony database of potential subscribers without any true sense of matching for age, geography or lifestyle. If that were not the case, there would be more of an opportunity for US to filter out for OURSELVES all those overweight old men astraddle motorcycles who live in far off states in which there is simply NO POSSIBILITY OF INTEREST in meeting. We would also screen out those people without photos. Do you completely discount the need for some level of physical attraction? Perhaps worst of all, your most heinous crime is matching subscribers with nonsubscribers we have no prayer of actually meeting. Your offer of giving all nonsubscribers the opportunity to subscribe in order to participate in the matching process is hooey. They should not be in your rotation of candidates if they cannot be contacted. That is an insensitive waste of your subscribers fee. I have spent money to meet people who are inaccessible to me. Your business is based upon a fraud. Your customer support is terrible. First of all it is extremely difficult to find an avenue of communication on your website. When you realize that the FAQs must be accessed first, the reply you get from an emailed inquiry is merely a cut and paste reprint from the FAQ page….how insulting to imply that I may not have grasped the concept the first time. Diane Newman

At the current time, what are the most important things that you are looking for in a potential partner?

I would like for him to be ATTRACTIVE. Are you saying you just can’t tell the difference? I am a reasonably attractive, physically fit woman. I will not date someone who isn’t. If you can’t tell the difference, hire someone who can. Modeling agencies build empires on the concept. I would be happy to review the two hundred or so profiles you have forwarded to me with one of your associates so we could set parameters if your company is so interested.

What interests or activities would you most like your partner to share with you?

I would like to find a man who is more outdoor oriented that not, more upright (on his feet and active) than one who remains seated for 95% of his day

What things are you most trying to avoid in a potential partner?

Easy: stupidity, laziness, dishonesty, ugliness. I hope this doesn’t make me seem hard to please, after all, you people took my money.

What interests or activities that some people find pleasurable do you most avoid (if any)?

Easy again: going to stadiums, watching TV, eating fast food, listening to country music, riding motorcycles, smoking stuff, getting hammered on liquor

Do you like this article? Post a comment on Facebook

More on eHarmony Blog

Trackbacks & Pingbacks 1

  1. From Adult Star Dating » Blog Archive » eharmony, what a ripoff on 23 Oct 2008 at 5:56 pm

    [...] woods.grl wrote an interesting post today oneharmony, what a ripoffHere’s a quick excerptBecause you see dear friend, this is a bprofit/b motivated company, which is a policy I do admire, but there is no concern for actually satisfying a customer. You are just on your bown/b. May as well take your chances in a bar at 3am wearing b…/b [...]

Comments 20

  1. SingleGuyInNC wrote:

    Trust me, I feel your pain.

    When you REALLY, REALLY want to be with someone and you sign up for eH or whatever service and expect ‘em to be delivered on a platter and don’t get it, you are where you are now: disappointed and angry.

    Regarding your response to their survey, remember, we are all unique, just like everyone else. There are folks out there that enjoy that stuff you hate. I think if you go back to that and look at it from their shoes, you will feel differently. It is supposed to take this stuff into account but it just isn’t there yet. It is supposed to help screen folks out. Read NCW’s books and this blog you’ll understand what’s going on and what the underlying philosophy is all about.

    As for attractiveness, you are right, it isn’t not measured and it’s not really something a computer can determine (not yet at least) so, you have to vote with your mouse. Close them. Someone else will find them attractive, that’s how it works on all dating services and real life. Ditto for personality. They may seem great on “paper” but move to a phone conversation and they fizzle. It’s one less date that you might have had to suffer through.

    Based on some of your comments, I have to wonder if you suffer the same problem I am beginning to think is part of my problem: living in the wrong place.

    Posted 28 Sep 2008 at 7:46 pm
  2. Naomi D wrote:

    woods.grl, see Expectations (my piece) and On Expecting a Lamborghini from Toyota.

    Posted 29 Sep 2008 at 8:18 am
  3. Sean wrote:

    I’m single.

    Posted 15 Apr 2009 at 9:32 am
  4. Kathy wrote:

    This site is a complete rip off!!! No one has even viewed my site. The men they have tried to match me with are not at all what my profile stated I was looking for. I stipulated non drinkers they would send me people who drank daily. I was looking for men who cared about their health and kept in shape around the age of 40. I was sent overweight 60 yr old men!!! This site is the WORST!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Posted 17 Aug 2009 at 7:03 pm
  5. ivan wrote:

    eharmony is just a money grab plain and simple it won’t last long

    Posted 28 Jan 2010 at 12:21 pm
  6. Dateless wrote:

    E Harmony is deceiving its clients. Every change is treated as a ‘new’ match when it clearly is not. Every response is treated as ‘communication’ when it is not as communication is a two way event. There appears to be little ‘selection’ or ‘matching’ in the so-called matches. In the UK complaints at this level should attract the interest of the office of fair trading – for at least false advertising.

    Posted 16 Feb 2010 at 1:25 am
  7. j wrote:

    I just signed up to view matches I haven’t paid yet, but I had the feeling it was a rip off, and this site has just confirmed it!

    Posted 28 Mar 2010 at 4:55 pm
  8. anon wrote:

    http://bit.ly/dftx39

    My review of eharmony

    Posted 01 Jun 2010 at 10:47 pm
  9. eharmonyblog wrote:

    anon, your bit.ly URL doesn’t work. You can’t paste your matches’ photos across the Internet. Those links don’t work outside the site….

    Posted 01 Jun 2010 at 10:54 pm
  10. MissManders wrote:

    I feel bad that people here had less than fabulous experiences with eharmony – I on the other hand had a fabulous experience. I signed up, 2 days later was matched with a fabulous guy whom I chatted with for 3 weeks then met. We have been together ever since and are getting married this October. He truly is my soul mate! I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with this wonderful human being.

    Posted 02 Jun 2010 at 7:29 pm
  11. Max wrote:

    So I spend several hours filling out all the questionnaires. At the end, they have showed me about 7 profiles, but I wasn’t able to see photos or send messages. Sign of a scam. I thought OK, since I have seen so many adds from them, maybe I should pay for a month of membership and see how it works, although I don’t trust those kind of web sites, the web is full with scam stories, but then I have discovered that you have to pay for at least 3 month!!! When I wrote about my concerns to their customer services they offered me a BIG discount, to pay them around $60 for 3 month. Well, to me it is a another flag for scam. Thankfully I did not paid and made some research on the web and I have discovered that after you pay, all your matches will be “not-very-attractive-type ones” and plain “ugly” or from far away.

    I guess they are good in physiology, one spends so much time on creating a profile, it would be much harder to cancel it, and easier to pay. So they will continue rip off $ millions from desperate man.

    Posted 07 Jun 2010 at 10:22 am
  12. john wrote:

    @max, if you just wanted get a hook up you can go down the corner bar and find a drunk hag.

    On the other hand you were looking for a relationship more than just physical attraction, and were hoping that it may end in a long term, even permanent relationship – the picture should be the least of your worries.

    Which, I believe is the primary target for eH – not the hook up. That is why you did not get pictures without signing up.

    If you think that is a “scam”, you have more paranoid feelings than a bucket of mall guards.

    Posted 07 Jun 2010 at 12:55 pm
  13. Becky wrote:

    Wow Diane, if you’re such a catch why do you have to try and pick men up on the internet? The only people that troll internet dating sites are…well, trolls. Or desperate. Your statements regarding yourself indicate that you certainly don’t consider yourself a troll, so you must be desperate. Lemme guess, mid 30′s, seen all your friends, maybe a sister too as they all fall in love, get married and have children. Your ovaries are drying up and life has passed you by. Sorry dear, but I think you might want to take a long hard look in the mirror. And I don’t mean the one that reflects your face back at you.

    Posted 21 Jun 2010 at 10:39 pm
  14. jams wrote:

    i was not gullible enough to send them money i could tell a scam from the start .then i was convicted of a scam with free communication weekend witch you cant communicate at all and 95% of my so called flexible out of my aria matches (flexible)???? and also where do you contact them ? no web page will work to send them a message . no phone number or address? looks like a scam to me.

    Posted 03 Sep 2010 at 3:47 am
  15. Big brother wrote:

    i got 1 for ya why is it that i have to hav a credit card to meet someone i mean do you have to pay to say hey to someone no!

    Posted 31 May 2011 at 12:55 pm
  16. Anonymous wrote:

    Honestly, I kind of feel bad for you, but then I don’t.
    I wasn’t planning on paying for their service, but I wondered what I’d be getting myself into IF I did. It was as easy and doing a google search to find out, it’s not worth the money.
    Not right away at least. If you like the service, sure.
    But yes, it’s filters through profile after profile as every site is.
    I mean there are BILLOWS of people in the world, you expect them to each have a profile and have them hand picked for you? Of course you aren’t going to get gold right away!
    With the price you probably paid, you’d think so. But in reality, you don’t.

    It takes time. But people are all about “I paid for it, I want it now” That’s how companies make money, especially in the US. If you want it bad enough, you’ll pay for it.
    Do nothing yourself, and have it done for you. Then get mad at a company that ‘lures’ you in.

    Sorry to say, but you can’t be mad at a company that won’t tell you just HOW the process works either.
    That’s what keeps them going..

    Sorry you feel you got cheated.

    Posted 31 May 2011 at 9:35 pm
  17. cJ wrote:

    E-harmony has automatic subsriptions so I thought I was signing up for 3 months only to find they billed me at the highest rate for 6 more months.

    I can’t believe that even though they know I didn’t log into my account- and they see that on their side- and that I did not renew- THAT THEY DIDN’T CARE AND JUST TOOK $240 ANYWAY. THEY ARE NOT ETHICAL IN MY BOOK- AND DON’T DO GOOD BUSINESS. IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU- IT’S ABOUT THEM AND TAKING YOUR MONEY FOR AS LONG AS POSSIBLE WHETHER YOU KNOW IT OR NOT.

    Posted 09 Aug 2011 at 2:16 pm
  18. kevin wrote:

    Yes eharmony is a cash cow for the principals involved. Their website technology is antiquated and the matches sent to you are not at all anything you requested in your setup information in either age or distance, that stuff makes no difference. Prove it to yourself and make significant changes to your setup and watch for a change. you will see nothing. Unfortunately they will continue to see good subscription numbers because it’s a business model that can’t go wrong that plays on every human beings biggest weakness, the potential for love, what ever that means for whoever. IT IS A RIP. PLEASE IF YOU MUST, GO WITH ANOTHER SERVICE. YOU WILL BE MUCH MORE SATISFIED.

    Posted 01 Jan 2012 at 5:10 am
  19. Rebecca wrote:

    Signed my friend up as a Christmas gift. We spent almost an entire day completing the surveys. We made it clear that she lives in LA County, CA they sent her matches from men in Washington State, Oregon and New Mexico. How in the heck is she suppose to meet anyone who lives thousands of miles away?

    To top it off she carefully picked an age group and they sent her matches from men who were in their late 70′s!!

    Then there was the one guy who sent photos of himself without a shirt. Yuck, the sagging flesh was enough to make you puke.

    Finally one match seemed promising. My friend sent eharmony email to him and they exchanged back and forth for a week. Finally they arranged to meet at a Norm’s Restaurant on a specific date and time. My friend confirmed via email with her “match” to meet at the Norm’s at 6:30pm on a specific Monday.

    My friend arrived a few minutes early, checked the restaurant did not see any man who resembled the photos of her “match” but waited in the lobby area for a good 40 minutes. Guess what her “match” never showed!

    Flakes and old codgers is all eharmony has to offer!

    Posted 10 Jan 2012 at 12:34 pm
  20. Thinking wrote:

    Wow, thanks people was about to make a mistake.

    Posted 12 Jan 2012 at 9:41 am

Post a Comment

Your email is never published, shown nor shared.

Your message appears after two to five seconds for the world to see. In case it isn’t obvious, we are not eHarmony. Your message will not be sent to them, and no, we cannot help you with your account.

Have your own topic? Start a new discussion. XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Subscribe without commenting

Geo Visitors Map