eHarmony Blog.comWhat are the steps of eHarmony’s Guided Communication process? What happens next after I send my match the questions I chose? When does it move to “1,” to “2,” … to “OPEN”? When do the photos appear? Since eHarmony itself won’t explain the steps to you, we’re going to explain it:
Yes, believe it — 21 steps, 10 turns. Doesn’t it feel like you deserve a gold star after finishing all of them?
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I recall that it was tricky (but possible) to figure out what your match was doing while inside the various multi-step boxes on your chart. Time stamps on the eH pages would change as the match went through the steps and sub-steps. You have to watch the pages carefully and keep notes, unfortunately. But watching the timing of the match’s actions can be useful information. Especially as you get closer to OC – I think you can assess their real interest level, ability to follow directions, etc. Or to guess that they aren’t accessing eH at all.
For example: after Jordan sends his #11 questions, eH won’t email him again until Jessie sends her #13 questions. But a lot is happening between those events. By watching the time stamps, he can tell a) if/when she read the #11 questions, b) if/when she wrote and “sent” her #12 responses (which aren’t really delivered to Jordan at that time. She may think so, but they are really being held up until she writes her #13 questions.).
This was a major flaw in the system during my time as a member. I had several matches complete the first step in a box, but fail to finish the second step. It is easy to forget to do, if you don’t complete both parts at the same time.
I think I started working on a chart like yours, also showing what data on which eH page would change after each of the actions. I will check my notes and if I saved anything useful, I will post it. However, I think I documented it all in the Google group of another eH blogger, which I no longer have access to.
I have a question; How does a match request communication? At first I thought it was when they send their first set of questions. But I now have matches that have not sent their questions but the “My Matches” list shows they have requested communication. When I open that match the first step appears for me to send them my questions. I don’t see any way for me to request communication unless I send a match my questions. Unless somehow the “how interested are you in this match” rating somehow triggers the request. Any information would be greatly appreciated.
Diana:
Unless something has changed in the system, I’m not sure how you have that situation. When you click on a match, even if you don’t request communication, you move to communication stage 1 but that doesn’t mean that they have requested communication. You usually get an e-mail when communication is requested and you would see “match requests communication” in the far right column of my matches instead of “start communicating” and when you click on that, you should get their list of questions.
I haven’t gotten an icebreaker, so I don’t know firsthand how that influences the process. It may be documented in the icebreaker post on here.
Re: Match rating/interest – that doesn’t initiate communication, either.
i have the same situation as Diana- I rec’d an email from eharmony that a match requested communication, and when i click on “match requests communication” i see their profile and it says “send first questions”. there is no icebreaker. any ideas?
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