Sometimes you just run out of things to ask.
This happens to me now that I have 11 matches in the Open Communication stage. The Good News: eHarmony provided canned open-ended questions to help us get to know our matches better. The Bad News: unless you have a match in the “Send 2nd questions” stage, you cannot look these canned questions up.
Here, for your reference, is the complete list of 42 open-ended canned questions. Hurl them at your matches when you can’t think of anything to say:
(Hey, you can even use this when you’re dating them. Web surfers coming upon this blog may even use it for their dates. What fun — imagine thousands of people asking their dates “Describe your spirituality”.)
- Besides love, what one trait have you noticed in couples that have maintained a successful relationship for many years?
- Looking back on your life, of what are you most proud?
- Describe some personal habits that are important to you.
- Describe an interest you have that you would truly hope your partner could share with you.
- What is the one dream for your life you most look forward to having come true?
- In general, how many nights a week do you go out for entertainment? What sorts of things do you like to do when you go out on the town?
- If you had three wishes, what would they be?
- During a typical week, what sort of physical activities do you enjoy?
- What is the most adventuresome thing you’ve done in the past year?
- How big is your extended family? What are the holidays like for you and your family?
- What is the most spontaneous thing you have ever done?
- How important is it to you that your partner fulfill traditional gender roles? Would you like a woman who will cook, shop and keep house? Would you like a man who maintains the cars, manages the finances, and is handy around the house?
- What do you most like to do on a day off?
- What is one thing you could start doing today that would most improve the quality of your life?
- When do you feel most afraid?
- If you could accomplish only one thing during the rest of your life, what would it be?
- They say life is about simple pleasures, what is your simplest pleasure, and how does it make you feel?
- What do you find physically attractive?
- Describe your own personal style.
- Tonight you can do anything you want, no penalties, no reprisals, and the cost is unimportant. What are you going to do?
- How would you spend a romantic evening with someone you have been dating for more than one year?
- Looking back at your life, describe one particular event that you wish you had handled differently.
- What do you think are the three best traits you have to offer a partner?
- Does life look good to you right now? Describe your current emotional health.
- Tell me about your closest friend. How long have you known him/her; and what do you like best about him/her?
- Describe your spirituality.
- What are your general feelings about money and personal wealth?
- Describe your parents’ relationship with each other.
- How would you describe your childhood relationship with your mother and/or father?
- What are you looking for in a relationship partner?
- What are your political beliefs?
- Do you have any pets? Which types of animals do you love to be around?
- Why did you join eHarmony?
- Are you doing what you love? If not, what would you rather be doing?
- Describe your ideal man/woman.
- How do you act when you’re angry?
- If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
- What have you learned from past relationships?
- What is the best thing an ex could say about you?
- If you could do something totally out of character and remain anonymous what would you do?
- If they were making a movie about your life, what would it be called and which actor would play you?
- Describe the worst date you’ve ever been on.
Warning: Use these sparingly. Sending canned questions will get you canned answers. Second, experienced subscribers notice them immediately. But, hey, it’s better than leaving a match hanging without communication.